The art of being an Artist...

Well here we go, the subject of being an artist, touched on, (yet again)... in a my Previous post: "Polly and Peter brought me out on the lake in the boat and helped me in my "fight" to acknowledge, and embrace, the fact that my life is a life of creativity"


So what is an artist anyway?

• An artist is a person engaged in one or more of any of a broad spectrum of activities related to creating art practicing the arts and/or demonstrating an art. (according wikipedia)

That does not get us far does it?

• Art is the product or process of deliberately arranging items (often with symbolic significance) in a way that influences and affects one or more of the senses, emotions, and intellect. It encompasses a diverse range of human activities, creations, and modes of expression, including music, literature, film, photography, sculpture and paintings. (again according wikipedia)
• Art: "the use of skill and imagination in the creation of aesthetic objects, environments, or experiences that can be shared with others (according brittanica online)

I like the bit "can be shared with others".

A while back I looked up Poet, and am reasonably comfortable with that description. Not so much in terms of my skills of writing poetry, but more in the way of the broader thought:

2.

a person who has the gift of poetic thought, imagination,and creation, together with eloquence of expression.

From all of that, yes I am an artist.

Phew.

I've said it.

Yet... I seem to have a problem.

Thirteen years ago, I was working hard on my Fantasy Folk Business. Becoming ill, I felt I was given a chance to change directions. No more art. 

Yet.

As a friend pointed out, I was creating drawings about not wanting to be creative...

Point taken.

Creativity was and is a lifeline that has helped me to stay sane in the challenging years of illness.

Having finally accepted that fact, I put it into my head that "I only create and write because I am ill and when I am better, I can do something else.

Warped mind or what?

I must say though that:

• I am for ever grateful that I have found my writing voice and the chance to publish books.
• I am for ever grateful to have (and hope to continue to) made wonderful contacts with people all over the world, because of my creative explorations... my ART.
• I am touched by the messages I receive and how my work has been used in studies and thesis, again by people all over the world.
• I love what I do.

Writing this I wonder what my problem with the label Artist is...

I think the "problem" lies in the fact that I got so "used" to being ill that I am having a hard time to see beyond it.
A scary thought.

This brings the thought to: "What would I like to do when I grow up (improve health wise)"?
I have no idea.
Well actually I do. I want to share my experiences with others.... through creativity.

one last look at the shed/studio as it was.

There.

Problem solved.

All these unsettling thoughts have been spurred on by the recent changes in my mindset.
As you might know from the last few blogs, I have been concentrating on the breath as healing tool. A tool available to all of us. A tool I keep reading about (in the most unlikely places, like as profile image of my facebook friend Kirsten), and hear about on tapes, on the radio, and from other people.

Breath is where it is at.

Breathing is bringing me to a different place. So is the healing I received from Dolores.
I am at a cross roads to well being.

"shed feeling sorry for itself...

After one of the sessions with Dolores, she asked me where my thoughts were. 

"That I have to start working with clay again." I said. These words had seemingly nothing to do with the session I just had.
Later that evening (see this post here if you like) I read a sentence "dare to be who you are".
A few days later I woke up with the thought that maybe I can explore the idea again of having a studio in my garden.
I left my last studio 13 years ago.
Moving into my current abode, I had plans for a studio, but ran out of money. In the meantime I had made the garden shed into a studio. But it was too small, the rain came through the roof and it was cold and damp.
Making do, wasn't working.

The new studio idea was obviously the right plan for now, as within a few days I had my brother and nephew on board to build it, and got approval from the council. Also I was given the news that I had won the case against Aer Arann (more about that in a week or so) and all going well, I have some finances to build the studio.

I must say I AM excited about the prospect of the studio. Mostly so I can share my work with others again. I already have a few people interested to do a doll making/puppet making workshop.

Case closed.

my gateway was a bit like this one..

Actually, one last thought.
During a meditation with the help of some amazing healing sounds, I suddenly found myself passing through a beautiful gateway.
The grounds beyond it were like a walled garden, yet there was no wall to restrict space or movement.
The garden  on the right was full of my favorite French Marigold flowers. A sea of orange. There was a lake, with birds. There was so much beauty in this space, I felt overjoyed and in awe that I was allowed to be here. There were people in the distance all edging me on to come into the garden. Sculptures of dancers. Also a pair of huge hands.
I feel that I had walked over the threshold into healing.

The garden's image is still in my head.
I closed the gates behind me.

ps... an afterthought... hours later...
Isn't the whole idea about being in the moment- the now- not to worry about what you'll do next... 
I am happy what I do and who I am. That's all that matters! 
:-)

Be ... at Ashley Park

I agree, it's been a while since I showed up in "blogger-world' or anywhere in cyberspace for that matter.
Then again, maybe you didn't wonder where I've been hanging out.. :-) No offence!

A few blog posts back, see "The Shell must break" I wrote about the challenges faced by living with an illness and the need to be still. Be still and in the moment. Which of course is not the easiest thing to do when faced with pain and discomfort.
I have embraced this renewed knowledge with much more thought and acceptance than ever before.
The words I have read, the wisdom I have heard, the changes in my body brought on by the healing therapies from Dolores are rooting in my being.

I have taken a lot of time to be still and to really experience how I am feeling. Not all are happy thoughts. Some are 'scary'. Some are a powerful revelation of well being. Even with a body that doesn't do what I had hoped it would.

Dreams are providing some clarity as well and as a funny coincidence I had a dream about booking a holiday. Later that day I had an appointment for reflexology and polarity treatment with Dolores, and from the minute I walked in she wanted to suggest to me that maybe I should go on a little holiday...

And so I did.

Writing my wish list, I came up with water, lake, small hotel, time to reflect, nature...and with the help of google I came up with Ashley Park
All I can say is that it was love at first sight.

After emailing them to request a room which would be accessible for me with my mobility scooter, I decided to ring in stead.
Ninety year old owner Sean answered the phone. None of my requests were deemed unusual. He had the apartment for me, and yes it was free for the days I had hoped to get away.
"You made my day," I said to Sean.
"We like to make people happy," was the answer.

Two days later I arrived at Ashley Park.
All my wishes and dreams came true in the days of my visit there. Any many more besides.

Staff member Mags showed me around the apartment and made me a cup of tea.
Sinead looked after me, and other guests, during the week and made sure we were never hungry. She lovingly shared her passion for this unique place and told me about the lake, the swans, the woodlands, the walled garden, ancient trees and the fairy fort. On passing a blossoming lavender she would stop and mention it.

I spend days lying by the lake, resting in the walled garden, wrote, reflected, and sat by the fire at night time.

I had found a piece of heaven in Ireland.
I had found a wonderful place to settle into the transition I am making from illness into well being. If this well being will eventually translate into a well body, I would be delighted. My biggest goal however is to find that sense of peace (again) in my mind. Be.
Just be.

This transition brought tears too. I let an overwhelming sadness flow out of my body. I noted what was happening and didn't try to stop it.

What made the stay in Ashley Park powerful was also that I had no means to 'escape'. I had no transport, no computer, my phone was only there if I needed it.
Ashley Park proved to be a safe place to be.
To really be.




During breakfast I met some wonderful guests, who were all equally excited to have found this amazing house. All seated around the one big dining room table, packed with delicious food, breakfast lasted for hours.
Chats about the house, the lake, a boat trip and trips around the area. Chats about writing, art, gardening, music, (see red shed sessions on facebook) life, and yes illness and the need to be still and live the best life you can.

During the last few days I had the pleasure of meeting guests from Norfolk, who had been to Ashley Park about 6 or 7 times.
Polly and Peter brought me out on the lake in the boat and helped me in my "fight" to acknowledge, and embrace, the fact that my life is a life of creativity.
(More about this in a follow up post...)




The last night in my bit of heaven I scooted to the ancient trees Sinead had mentioned. I now understood her urge to go tree-climbing.

As you might gather, I am excited to have found this wonderful little place, in the middle of Ireland, near the lovely town of Nenagh. An unassuming place, which I like people to know exist and yet feel a sense of protection towards it... I don't want it to get "mobbed."

I would like to thank Sean for rescuing this place from it's near death in the '70. For the wonderful staff and for the fact that this place is private. Where else would you find a lake all to yourself, among the hundreds of ducks, and a few horses.

I'll be back.
To write.

Creative for a Second or Two (Journal 4)

So much to write and yet can't get my head around it...

But have something really wonderful to share with you.
A few years ago Kirrily Anderson started a project to share/and showcase the creative talents of people living with M.E. which at the same time showed little snippets on how their lives are affected by the illness. "Creative for a Second" it was called and the book can be viewed by clicking on the link.

I am the proud owner of a printed copy of this book.

Last year I took part in the follow up project: Creative for a Second or Two. 
Nine journals made it around the world. Two of them are now available to view on Issuu.
I'd like to share with you Journal number 4, where my work is among some other amazingly interesting art.

Enjoy! And I'll assure you, you'll be inspired for more than a second or two!

Open publication

Book Offer- (The sun is shining!)

    

                         

It's July The SUN is shining. To celebrate, a Special July Book Offer.

A signed copy of Hatched: Hatched” is one of the most energetic, generous-hearted, sharp-minded and inspiring books of poems I’ve read for quite a while

• A signed copy of Cirrus Chronicles: On the first glance at the cover is enough to know you are in for a treat
• A signed copy of Flying on Little Wings (paperback): A striking artistic achievement. It will bring joy and admiration to many hearts and minds
• A signed copy of Crow Lines:  an artistic collaboration between pupils from Liosmór Mochuda National School, and Lismore Artist and Writer Corina Duyn.

• All four books for €39.99 (plus €2) postage.
• This means a free copy of Flying on Little Wings, and a large discount on the postage, especially if you live outside of Europe.
• Interested?
• Click on the "Buy now button", and don't forget to tell me who you would like me to sign the books for. This offer has now closed, but see later blogs for current book offers

Happy reading!

Awareness ... of Nature's Art

Following from yesterday's post I'd like to share with you these wonderful gifts of nature.  

And yes, I DID stop and stare at these beauties. 

Every day I wondered when the flowers of these leeks will reveal themselves to the world

The immensely heavy rain a few days ago brought out the best of them.

Stunning pieces of Nature's Art.

One flower daring to peep outside of it's shell. 

I will take it's cue...

The shell must break...

... before the bird can fly.

A quote by Tennyson, given to me as a greeting card a few years ago. The card hasn't left my books shelf since, and it's message is very appropriate at the present time.

The shell must break...

Footloose, acrylic on wood
© Corina Duyn

"You are the 'Hatched Woman", Dolores said when we met some time last year. "I love that book." A few months ago, I was proud to show her my handmade book: Flying on Little Wings.  She held it in her hands, and uttered the words "precious, it's so precious". When she came to pick up her copy we talked about writing, creating books and about the artwork in Hatched. She asked if I still had the painting 'Footloose'.  As it happened, I did. It was one of two paintings  still in my possession. 
We agreed on a barter for treatment in reflexology and polarity therapy.
This has been taking place during the past month or so. It has set me off on a journey of discovery way beyond the treatment.


Since having a major setback in terms on my health in May, I have found life increasingly more challenging. Pain was unbearable, but more worryingly, so was my mental state. "I don't recognise myself" I uttered. "And I feel cheated out of life". All I love to do and which are a way to help me deal with the effects of illness - gardening, working in the greenhouse, doing my writing and art, were once again taken away from me. I felt that there was little left. 
(I have been more or less housebound at the start of the ME 13 years ago, but I had been able to slowly expand on these boundaries.)


Starting this session of treatments, I told all I know about the way my life has progressed over the past 5 decades (almost!) and how illness has effected me. One of the main things that I focused on was that I have never felt "grounded". I have been floating through life.
"Footloose" suddenly had a different meaning from when and why I had created it...


After the second session I was told "we talked a lot. That is unusual."
These few words stuck in my head. 
I realised that even during a treatment to help me further on a path of recovery, I was not fully "here". I was not focusing on what was happening right NOW. My body was being worked on and my mind was elsewhere. 
I realised that I have been doing that for a VERY long time. 
It is easier to ignore the body's messages and "get on with life".


Looking for my '80 Dutch book on reflexology I found a book by a Dutch woman who had had ME. (Bange Helden, Wies Enthoven). 
'You know you have to change.' He (the acupuncturist she went to) knew that I was the only one who could make this happen.'

Reading this made my body tingle. 

I knew it to be true. I have always believed this but have not been able to 'go' there.

'Let it be' he said.

'What remains of me when I can only be? Wies asked herself. 'The struggle I fought with myself to really let go of everything was huge.'
'Dare to be who you're meant to be'  she continues, 'was hardly an original revelation, but was obviously new for me.'


Last week I brought a visit to the library and while looking for a book on reflexology, I came across a book by fiction and non fiction writer Tim Parks: Teach us to be still. A Sceptic's Search for Health and Healing. I am learning lots from his frank and open, and often funny account of how he dealt with being ill. How the medical profession looks at one aspect only, and what do you do when they can't find anything wrong. 
Breath and be still. Apparently!
Reading Parks's book I realised that I too find escape into words. '...Until I had thought about it in words, or better still, written about it, ... then I possessed it. 
'We read to know we're not alone' says CS Lewis. 
And for me? I write to understand. 


My mind is always busy, which I thought was a gift to help me deal with decline into dark and lonely places due to illness. If I am not actually writing, I write in my head, and come up with plans for creative adventures. While doing guided meditations,  I 'tell' a friend to listen to this too. When I am reading, I make a mental note to tell so and so about this book. When I am in the bath I want to get out because there is something I need to write down; when I am 'meditating' my mind goes into all sorts of directions and none of them have anything to do with stillness. When I see a lovely bird in the garden, I have to get my camera in stead of really seeing the bird.
'Mind and body part company', Park realises, 'you're more at home on the page than on the pavement.' ... 'Your mind is you. Your body is your vehicle.'
I was told the same words by Dolores...


All a sobering thought.
I am very busy, and am not- as I thought- working my way through what really matters to me- finding healing, finding a way to improve my well being, physically and mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
'Give yourself the gift of change,' Kerie Logan tells me time and time again during her guided meditations. 'Let go of any resistance.'
I want change.
But have been scared to go 'there'. 
There where I have no control. I have no idea where 'there' really is.
Being much more in the moment and being still already brought me to some uncomfortable 'home-truths'.


The shell must break before the bird can fly...


With the help of Kerie, Dolores, Wies, Tim and all of those that have gone before me I will embrace the stillness. And break the shell so I can start my flight with a fresh eyes and healthy wings.
I will make friends with myself as Pema Chodron tells me during her excellent lecture on Matri and and Tonglen meditation. 


You know what dawned on my the other night - while sitting in the bath - that Stillness and Illness are almost the same word. 
St- illness 
Saint Illness?


Be good my friends, and maybe be still?


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