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Saturday, June 17, 2017

Is routine the key to living well with illness?

Lots of thoughts this morning. About meditation, medication, routine, pacing, finding my way again.

Meditation

The power of meditation to feel how my body truly feels. And not to mask pain totally with pain medication.
A fine line, I think.

Medication

Yes, I do take pain medication. I am very glad to have them.
After many trails over the years of strong pain relief, I now mainly use very basic medication. The more drastic ones all had me end up living like a zombie, or had too many side effects, which made life more intolerable in different ways. (Note: This is my experience. I am sure that we all have different views on this.)

There are days that I find it important to really see/feel how my body is functioning.
By taking too much pain medication, there is the change that I continually overdo it, because I don't feel the pain which activities are causing. The danger arises that I end up in a vicious circle.
... if that makes sense...?

Preventative pain relief

I do take pain medication in advance of an activity, when I know I simply don't have a choice not to overdo it. Like for travel, or extended outings.
Sometimes I take pain medication when I am in the middle of an activity where there is no choice but to keep going. I can hardly lie down in a shop, or on the street when I can no longer function due to pain or fatigue. The basic Paracetamol seems to work for this to some degree.
In the hospital I was advised to take paracetamol on a routine basis. I followed this advise for the Holland adventures, but am now trying to take less again.

... and dealing with pain after doing too much

Other times I have already grossly overstayed my own welcome in being kind and considerate to my body...
Like yesterday.
Where I had a friend help me in the garden to do some weeding. She did not mind at all, at all, if I did nothing but observe. But I LOVE being involved in my garden so I did my bit of weeding. Sitting down. But I did too much. I felt ill. In so much pain. I spend the rest of the afternoon on the bench in the garden and on the couch. So, yes. I did dowse myself with pain relief. And yes I did feel a bit better after a few hours. But is that really the answer?

I don't think it is.
Sculpture by Corina Duyn, showing a head and outstreched arm with a bird in the hand. view of sea and cliffs.
'Wisdom' sculpture by Corina Duyn 2015, background view is in Dzogchen Beara

So, back to meditation

Hence I started my day with meditation, to really explore where I am at. How to proceed. How to get back to being well again. Well within illness. Well without putting too many chemicals into my body. Well by listening to my body.

I would like to get back to my routine. To stay within my levels of ability. Which due to the surgery and the 'hospital-Holland-marathon' has taken a good few steps backwards.

I know that for me routine is the key to living well with illness. 

I need to get back to:

  • To eat well. To not put the 'wrong fuel in my body'.
  • To just be. Be with whatever is happening.
That is my plan.

What is your plan?

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With every best wish
Corina