EGG: spheroidal reproductive body enclosed in a protective layer, capable of developing into a new individual
quote from Hatched re-hatched
As I wrote yesterday, Eggs were my theme during the first number of years of illness.
About a year into the illness I woke up one morning and made a drawing of an egg.
I can asure you, l was not in the habit of drawing. And certainly not in the habit of drawing eggs... first thing in the morning.
|First Egg. © Corina Duyn 1999|
Anyway. I found myself with a drawing of a cracked egg. The broken piece of shell held by a hand reaching out from the inside.
I had not the foggiest idea why I made this.
So, I decided to look in the dictionary.
EGG: spheroidal reproductive body enclosed in a protective layer,
capable of developing into a new individual.
Now THAT I could relate to.
I was stuck in an egg. I needed the protective layer as if anyone sneezed at the end of the street, I would end up in hospital. The protective layer was also my enclosed life. I spend most of my time in bed, or on the couch. I needed, and as given, protection from kind home helps, friends and family. My home and care were my protective layer.
But what I related to most of all was the capable of developing into a new individual.
My life, my existence, was so stripped back to it's absolute minimum that I had the feeling I was starting life all over again. And with that, I had capability to developing into a new individual. A challenge. A possiblity.
Every day I would start afresh again.
Every day I tried to see beyond the fear, the pain, the wish to let me sink into the mattress into oblivion and not have a new day start. But when a new day presented itself to me, I would remind myself that I was given a chance to develop into this, as yet unknown - even to myself, individual.
And grew into what I have become today.
A long journey of eggs, becoming the bird, finding my ground, and now looking to re-emerge to dance in nature.
A footnote for my friends recently diagnosed with ME/CFS
|Off Balance- drawing by Corina Duyn 1999|
There were many days where I was completely off balance.
Like the hardship experienced by friends recently diagnosed with ME/CFS.
You are in my thoughts
I am holding you gently.
Stay in your Egg for a little while.
Rest. Rest. Rest.
Rest. Rest. Rest.
Be cared for.
And grow into a beautiful bird.
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