Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Day 62: back to the cave

I don't think I am regarded as a pessimist... yet right now I am wondering if I should stop counting my 'days of musings' - and just write when I feel like it, yet the count helped me to see how far I got, and I enjoy sharing my daily thoughts with you.

I reached day 62, with a few hick ups along the way, but I was on a roll. A roll down a slippery path perhaps? Or maybe I slid down a frosty path this morning...

In any case, I sign defeat of M.E. Again. For now.
I will rest and come back stronger.
That is usually the way.

Pain and exhaustion has been building for weeks, but I had 'things to do', 'people to meet', in real life and meeting up with my dear Facebook palls. I learn from them, I laugh and cry with them.
To regain my stamina and get back to my social life, I will hide in my cave for a little while, and there I'll decide how to go further.

Maybe being on Facebook, and writing a daily blog, and working on a story, on top of life, might have been too much.
All I know is that I am in a lot of pain, and am sad because of it. Defeated. Exhausted.

Talking to my GP I said, "If anyone tell me that 'it' (M.E.) is all in my head, I'll tell them that what really is in my head, is the story I long to write- but can't."
Thank god she believes M.E. and Fibro are very real illnesses. She knows me.

Be good my friends, I'll catch up with you soon.

3 comments:

Melanie Murray said...

"It is only by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble,
there lies your treasure.
The very cave you are afraid to enter
turns out to be the source of
what you were looking for." ~ Joseph Campbell

You will come back stronger and wiser and we'll be here to welcome you. Take care. xxx

kp said...

be gentle with yourself corina...definitely sounds time to rest. i've been finding the same thing - feeling like i'm getting on a treadmill of messages to answer, blog posts to write, presents to send, letters that need answering etc etc. sometimes you really do need to listen to your body telling you it's time to step off for a while and rejuvenate...and while it feels as though you fall behind each time you take a break, in truth it often gives a clarity of mind and heart that will be invaluable in guiding you forward. i'll look forward to being in touch again when you're ready. XXOO

Corina Duyn said...

Thank you both Melanie and KP for your lovely messages of support and understanding.
I must say that I am savoring the break from the 'responsibilities of Facebook, Blog etc and trying at the same time to earn some money..
Rigth now I am giving myself time, and although I have a painful body and whacky head, I am enjoying time off.
Relapses are always the start of something new- or at least a better clarity.
love to you both

talk when I am ready to face the cyberworld again.
XX
corina