The art of being an Artist...

Well here we go, the subject of being an artist, touched on, (yet again)... in a my Previous post: "Polly and Peter brought me out on the lake in the boat and helped me in my "fight" to acknowledge, and embrace, the fact that my life is a life of creativity"


So what is an artist anyway?

• An artist is a person engaged in one or more of any of a broad spectrum of activities related to creating art practicing the arts and/or demonstrating an art. (according wikipedia)

That does not get us far does it?

• Art is the product or process of deliberately arranging items (often with symbolic significance) in a way that influences and affects one or more of the senses, emotions, and intellect. It encompasses a diverse range of human activities, creations, and modes of expression, including music, literature, film, photography, sculpture and paintings. (again according wikipedia)
• Art: "the use of skill and imagination in the creation of aesthetic objects, environments, or experiences that can be shared with others (according brittanica online)

I like the bit "can be shared with others".

A while back I looked up Poet, and am reasonably comfortable with that description. Not so much in terms of my skills of writing poetry, but more in the way of the broader thought:

2.

a person who has the gift of poetic thought, imagination,and creation, together with eloquence of expression.

From all of that, yes I am an artist.

Phew.

I've said it.

Yet... I seem to have a problem.

Thirteen years ago, I was working hard on my Fantasy Folk Business. Becoming ill, I felt I was given a chance to change directions. No more art. 

Yet.

As a friend pointed out, I was creating drawings about not wanting to be creative...

Point taken.

Creativity was and is a lifeline that has helped me to stay sane in the challenging years of illness.

Having finally accepted that fact, I put it into my head that "I only create and write because I am ill and when I am better, I can do something else.

Warped mind or what?

I must say though that:

• I am for ever grateful that I have found my writing voice and the chance to publish books.
• I am for ever grateful to have (and hope to continue to) made wonderful contacts with people all over the world, because of my creative explorations... my ART.
• I am touched by the messages I receive and how my work has been used in studies and thesis, again by people all over the world.
• I love what I do.

Writing this I wonder what my problem with the label Artist is...

I think the "problem" lies in the fact that I got so "used" to being ill that I am having a hard time to see beyond it.
A scary thought.

This brings the thought to: "What would I like to do when I grow up (improve health wise)"?
I have no idea.
Well actually I do. I want to share my experiences with others.... through creativity.

one last look at the shed/studio as it was.

There.

Problem solved.

All these unsettling thoughts have been spurred on by the recent changes in my mindset.
As you might know from the last few blogs, I have been concentrating on the breath as healing tool. A tool available to all of us. A tool I keep reading about (in the most unlikely places, like as profile image of my facebook friend Kirsten), and hear about on tapes, on the radio, and from other people.

Breath is where it is at.

Breathing is bringing me to a different place. So is the healing I received from Dolores.
I am at a cross roads to well being.

"shed feeling sorry for itself...

After one of the sessions with Dolores, she asked me where my thoughts were. 

"That I have to start working with clay again." I said. These words had seemingly nothing to do with the session I just had.
Later that evening (see this post here if you like) I read a sentence "dare to be who you are".
A few days later I woke up with the thought that maybe I can explore the idea again of having a studio in my garden.
I left my last studio 13 years ago.
Moving into my current abode, I had plans for a studio, but ran out of money. In the meantime I had made the garden shed into a studio. But it was too small, the rain came through the roof and it was cold and damp.
Making do, wasn't working.

The new studio idea was obviously the right plan for now, as within a few days I had my brother and nephew on board to build it, and got approval from the council. Also I was given the news that I had won the case against Aer Arann (more about that in a week or so) and all going well, I have some finances to build the studio.

I must say I AM excited about the prospect of the studio. Mostly so I can share my work with others again. I already have a few people interested to do a doll making/puppet making workshop.

Case closed.

my gateway was a bit like this one..

Actually, one last thought.
During a meditation with the help of some amazing healing sounds, I suddenly found myself passing through a beautiful gateway.
The grounds beyond it were like a walled garden, yet there was no wall to restrict space or movement.
The garden  on the right was full of my favorite French Marigold flowers. A sea of orange. There was a lake, with birds. There was so much beauty in this space, I felt overjoyed and in awe that I was allowed to be here. There were people in the distance all edging me on to come into the garden. Sculptures of dancers. Also a pair of huge hands.
I feel that I had walked over the threshold into healing.

The garden's image is still in my head.
I closed the gates behind me.

ps... an afterthought... hours later...
Isn't the whole idea about being in the moment- the now- not to worry about what you'll do next... 
I am happy what I do and who I am. That's all that matters! 
:-)