The healing effects of teaching puppet-making

There is so much in my head that I like to share with you. Thoughts about healing, recovery, miraculous recovery, challenges, health, or not as the case may be, but somehow all roads lead to the beauty of sharing the art of making puppets.

... do I know you? ...
(Pascale De Coninck with puppet-head by Louise Clark)

Longing

I so long to be well enough to get up in the morning with ease, go to my studio, or to my desk and sculpt, sew, write, share, teach. Or to be out in the garden and get rid of the weeds- but leave anything which insects and birds might like to nibble on over the winter.

The other night after another trip to hospital -this time for a planned appointment, not an unplanned trip in an ambulance - I was too tired to have a good night sleep. One of peculiarities of M.E.(ME/CFS). There is a fine balance between being tired enough to go to sleep, and being too tired. Anyway. At some point I got up again to get something to drink, and I picked up my notebook. I wrote:  " ... All I have left in me are tears. I so want to just get on with my life.  A miraculous recovery overnight is VERY WELCOME. Whatever way it comes.  Thank you."

The intriguing roads to recovery

There has been so much in the news about ME lately, about very dodgy suggestions that recovery is possible, as long as you follow some weird science. Well, I am absolutely delighted if people find ways to beat illness, in whatever way, as long as people are not being exploited by quacks along the way.

I always felt that I would recover in my own time, in my own way. Through a positive mindset, understanding nature's wisdom, and be involved in creativity in all its ways. My mantra for years was "I write myself into wellbeing". And writing most definitely had a huge impact on learning to live well with illness.

I certainly have improved much from the early years, see Hatched- a creative Journey Through M.E. (1998-2006), but I am not as good as I was a decade ago. I am hopeful though, that my current adventures with all things puppet will eventually bring me closer to a level of wellbeing. Again. I am hopeful. And almost convinced.

The puppet-related adventures definitely bring me joy, and energy, 

which is not exactly a physical energy, but energy at a different level.

even the start of making feet are already showing the
different characters they are going to be

So, ... teaching puppet making in my studio

As you might know I have started to teach in my studio. One and half hours a week. Anne's Japanese Dancer (see link below under image) was the first puppet/doll. The second course with three students started almost two weeks ago. And what fun! And, I am getting better at setting my personal limits, and devising ways so my students can work further on their puppets in my studio, in their own time (or at home).

Sharing all I have learned about making puppets over that past 4 decades is enjoyable. But what intrigues me most of all is what puppet making does to the maker.  In my classes I am not overly concerned with the perfect face, but what character emerges from a block of clay. From the hands of the maker. From the inner thoughts of the maker. 

It is a truly wondrous journey.

Jackie O'Flynn working on her puppet-head

Teaching via post and cyberspace.

Greg Crowhurt's Johnny Toes-
 to be made as puppet

During a communication with Linda and Greg Crowhurst a seed was planted in my head to see how I can help Greg to bring his Johnny Toes character into puppet form. Some amazingly powerful moments have occurred. Of finding ways to teach Greg via email, photos, images, written instructions. To find ways to not expose Linda to the dangers of chemical smells of glue, or to sounds from skype conversations.
The experience the heartbreak of the limitations of living with severe ME put on just the person living with this, but also the carer. My heart goes out to them and to anyone living with the incredibly challenging circumstance.

The beauty of helping Greg to fulfill on his dream, is also how many others are getting involved. Offers of fabric for the clothing, and the weaving of the strap for his guitar.  To making suggestions to limit the challenges which undoubtedly will occur along the way.
I put a box together with all that is required to bring Johnny Toes into being. See a wonderfully excited Greg when the box of goodies arrived at his house. (see link below).

Teaching, and sharing, the art of puppet making, might not be my miraculous recovery, but it surely is bringing a different kind of energy into my life. A goosebumps kind of energy. 

Who knows where it will lead.

Anne stopped by to show us Mia's kimono

My own 'girls' are starting to take shape
and seem to be having a chat...

Further reading and links

• Follow Greg and Johnny Toes's adventures , including how others are getting involved, when The Box arrived
• Interested in doing a course, either in my studio or online/post? Please contact me
• The Dance of Puppetry and disability

When Sally met Teddy

The care from a cat

Sally's Teddy

A few months ago I found two cushions in my study in various location on the floor. I suspected Sally Cat to be responsible for this... (other option were aliens...).
My assumptions were right. I saw Sally fight with one of the cushions one day. The cushion being at least three times the size of my little cat, I decided to buy her a Teddy.

Love at first sight.

Sally walks around with Teddy in her mouth and 'talks' in a different way.
I have not yet decided if she thinks it is a kitten, or a 'prize-catch'.

What I DO know is that she wants me to acknowledge her Teddy.
At ANY time of the day.
Also at 3 am.
She 'talks-her-talk' until I turn on the light and tell her how good a girl she is.

She now offers me her Teddy.
At 3 am...
And drops it on my bed, beside my head.

The sweetheart.

Dog with Bone

This is a slightly edited  email conversation with a young woman who is dealing with the realities of living with M.E. and wants- understandably- recovery.

…. You are such a soldier, you inspire me! Corina I hope u don’t mind me asking but do you hope that u will recover from ME, do u think it might be possible that some day your health could be even partially restored. Or do u believe u will have it for life. What are your rational thoughts? …

… I know I can be annoying sometimes with my questions. My husband said to me only today I was like a dog with a bone going on about raising money for ME research. I have 90 blue ribbons to sell for the month of May. So I know I am obsessed with ME research and the hope of getting well again some day. ... I know you are a straight talker and thinker whereas I am a bit of a dreamer and I get carried away! ...

Dear, dear friend,

…

For years I kept up the hope to buy my beloved bicycle in Holland as I know I would recover. It was the dream. The goal. But as there were so many disappointments along the way, in terms of full recovery, I suppose I stayed more with what is Now rather than what Might Be.

In 2006, seven years after becoming ill, I bought a car again. Driving! Me. After years of only mobility scooter use. Funny enough a friend sent me a picture today of that time.

I was 'well'. I functioned, but still had ME.

I still had a lot of support at home, but I felt a little more part of society again. Even if I only drove a few minutes, a few times a month.

Driving along in my automobile (2006)

In 2012, a few days after my 50th birthday I seems to have picked up another viral infection. I was very ill. And I think menopause has played a part in my not recovering well. (that is a different story all together)

In 2012 I also understood that I might not fully recover. In a strange way it gave me relief. I could stop looking and trying and get back to living. Of course if recovery is possible some day. Great! But research is not there yet. And even if it was, we are all so different in our experience and symptoms.

(I sold my car again as it had been more a symbol what I could not do, and not a symbol of independence.)

I actually ended up doing a night class in Disability studies that year. It almost 'killed' me, but it set me up on a new road. Understanding long terms illness and disability from a much wider perspective. I wrote Into the Light as a result. As a result of not recovering and as a result of the year in college.

So, do I hope I recover? Yes. With emphasis on hope.

Do I think I recover? No.

But I will keep looking after my physical and mental wellbeing. Meditation. Easy movement. Joy. Good people around.

What is recovery anyway?

I am happy. 

I have my days of misery. But they usually come from wanting things I can not have. Or comparing myself with someone else. Or some else's life.

While I was writing to you a friend who is a chiropractic practitioner stopped by with a book. The Way of Healing, by Chi Kung. There are some extremely gentle exercises in the book to restore energy. Some are even just lying down with your hands on your belly. It is wonderfully simple. Here is a video link he gave me with sitting exercises. 

I will explore these kind of methods to enhance my life.

And, in terms of my bicycle. Well, who knows. It won't be today. It won't be next week. So in the meantime I am not using my precious energy to achieve that.

I don't know if that answered your question...

There are many, many thoughts on the subject...

I know you want recovery. Understandable. But please my dear friend, for your health, and the support around you, let go of that Bone! Research will happen without you looking at it. The magic will unfold some day. In the meantime. Live. Live the best life you can, with the people who love you around you. 

Stop researching the research ... it will come to you.

I promise. Healing will come to you. But maybe not in the way you expect it.

Let it happen.

Give the Bone to someone else.

Much love!

Your travel companion - Corina

PS, if you have a few words about your experience, I love to read them.

 ... 

Corina thank you for your lovely answer. I could honestly read your words all day. Thank you.

I would write something Corina but it would take me at least a week to get it together, loss and hope would be my theme. Plenty to write on that. I had let go of constantly researching the research a while ago, there was nothing left!!! 

I have signed up to Health Rising and Open Medicine, so if there are any updates they will come through to my email. I totally get living in the now, appreciating what I have. I do but at times I get lost in worry, grief and 'what will happen'. And get into a tizzy as u well know!!!

I have to hold onto hope though so I have to see that bone now and again, just not obsessively. I believe answers will come in time but as to when that will be, nobody knows, that part is hard to swallow. 

Not knowing. I compare it to jail, if you knew when u were getting out or getting sent to a prison with more concessions and freedom, it would make the hard days easier. 

I trust in God too that he will take care of me. 

I believe too that all the ME sufferers worldwide rightfully deserve treatment, it is a disgrace that so many have been left abandoned for so long, especially the severe cases. Funding is necessary. That is why I will sell my 90 ribbons no matter what, I will do fundraisers, not just for me but for those that cant fund raise. I will do what I can, that's all I can do.

Gosh I have written loads, I should be able to do a piece for you, once I start I am off!! Thanks for giving me the opportunity.

xxx

Advise given to us for recovery from ME/CFS

Thank you very much for your advice towards my recovery. 

When I come to your suggestion I will let you know.

Page from Into the Light by Corina Duyn

Many of us, perhaps all of us, who live with chronic illness, will have heard about the most wonderful, and weird, but (according the person giving us the advise) absolute certain ways to cure our illnesses...

Daily bee stings is one that stayed in my mind. The woman reputedly was bedridden with ME but played soccer after a few weeks of bee stings...
As "it" is in our heads, counseling will definately cure.
Exercise will cure: "Come over and we go mountain climbing."  
Truly- I have been told this at a time when I did not have the strength to break an eggshell.
Accupuncture. A very valualbe treatment. But I was told how well the treatment was going as I was able to tie my schoelaces again.  I was wearing easier to tie shoes...

... I am sure you all have your stories to tell  - I love to hear them

I believe that people try to be helpful.
They don't want us to be ill.
But the advise can be so unhelpful.

I was told by my counselor I saw during the early years to help me understand the illness, to respond with: "Thank you very much for your advice towards my recovery. When I come to your suggestion I will let you know." 

I have used this line often. It leaves both the giver of advise and the ill person with plenty of respect, and moves the conversation on to other topics.

Words from Into the Light  book about this topic.

Assurances of recovery 

Suggestion of cures

Advice out of kind ignorance 

do not lift the spirits

Especially 

when not grounded 

in reality

It can be intrusive

Advice offered

by someone

who takes time

to understand

your illness

or speaks from experience 

can be of great support 

Further reading and links

• My books, including Into the Light from which this image is taken, are available from my shop