It takes time, and trust, to accept change

To follow on from the last post of letting go of my studio,  I have to say that ‘it’ all makes sense in the end. (It always does...)

Work in progress on scrapbook-cover
From the comfort of my day-bed in my ‘new’ (studio) room

But first of all: Thank you for those of you who reached out and shared their thoughts on the continued changes illness demands. Also interesting to hear and read how, yes, these changes are incredibly hard, but that it is my strength to not shy away from them. That I don’t ‘freeze’. That I go along with these changes.

True. And thank you. But boy are these changes hard on the soul.

Long time ago

I have to admit that my OT (Occupational Therapist) suggested in early 2018 that maybe I should bring my studio indoors. She was not the only one who suggested this. But at that time I just couldn’t imagine how this could be done. There was so much stuff in my studio. How on earth could I bring this in and not totally clutter up my lovely home. I wasn’t ready.

As you read, I did make many changes over the years. Maybe that is what I needed to do. One tiny (or big) step at the time. Nuggets of change. Trying to go with the flow- although I ‘swam against the tide’ as much as I possible could. 

Yes - I remain stubborn.

So now - March 2021.

I have to admit that the move to bring the very much reduced selection of art and craft materials indoors was right. During the sorting out it was paper and some fabric which got my attention. I did save some paints too, but not sure yet why. When it came to the box of puppet eyes and hair for some reason there was “No Way!” I could let these go. The reason? I haven’t the foggiest idea!

What makes me admit that the move of having a (reduced) studio in my room where the ‘day-bed’ is was right thing to do, is the fact that I can do a tiny bit of something creative most days. While comfy on this bed.

Photo album-scrapbook

Over the past while I have started to sort photos (again). And I like cutting paper. These two activities combined made me cut up photos. Both I can do while in bed, on recliner or on my day-bed. 

I am hoping over the coming year (leading up to my 60th) to make collages from these photo cuttings. I decided to do this on A3 heavy good quality watercolour paper. In landscape format as they fit perfectly on my over-bed and over-chair tables. (One has to remain practical). 

After a lot of thinking and planning, I came up with the idea to adapt an Lever-arch folder to hold the sheets. With help from friend Pascale this was created two weeks ago. And how lovely it was to have a creative person here to help me, versus just carers coming in. (No offence to carers!) A bit of normality. (Keeping Covid restrictions and precautions in place of course.)

My brains, combined with her brains and ability, the basis for the cover was made. The possible covering for this has already seen many a change: from red leather to handmade paper, to fabric, to adding a photo, to adding the wooden tree from the shadow puppetry time, to embroidery...

Positives 

This process of thinking is so incredibly useful to divert the draining energy around ongoing care issues and decline in health. As always I find it so powerful to be able to focus the mind to something positive and constructive. It still takes energy, but is more balanced in a way.

Having access to some fabric, scissors, treads, paper, etc etc in my ‘day-bed-room’, dare I call it my new ‘studio’?, makes it possible to do just a little bit of trying out at various times during the day. This would Not have happened if my material was still in the real studio. There! My OT and others were right all along. I just needed time to get there...

So, watch this space to see what will come of this photo-album-scrapbook-cover, and inners.

Bonus

What is also very beautiful is that my idea to do this project has inspired two other creatives along the way. One fellow creative whom I had initially asked to make the cover for me and my friend Pascale. The significance for me is that I truly thought my creative mind had ‘died’. That I had reached the point of being unable to access it. It hasn’t. And am very grateful for that.

Letting go of the old - making room for the new

 I am tidying my studio.

'Crying Crow' - 'On the right path' - detail

Space clearing is of course not just for 'actually clearing space'.
It is about reconnecting with the 'old',
and preparing for what is to come.

Over the past few weeks I have made great progress. Ten minutes at the time. The last bits, the boxes a bit higher up will be done in the coming week, with the help of my summer-creative-support.

Space clearing also involved letting go of some of my sculptures and tapestries. Most are now being fostered by loving new minders. That is the evolution of creative work.

A lot of pieces just need to be in my space until I am ready to move on.
'Crying Crow' - 'On the right path' is one such piece.

'Crying Crow' - 'On the right path'
85-65 cm

It hangs in my studio, but I think it is time to let it go and make space for my new Butterfly Puppet. A collaborative project with Artist friend Spark Deeley . I created the head and body of the butterfly - Spark painted these incredibly beautiful silk wings.
The head is about 10 cm, so overall quite a big piece.
It can be held and moved by the stick on the back of the head. It is still a work in progress.

Butterfly puppet- still a work in progress.
Collaboration between Corina Duyn and Spark Deeley

Anyway, back to 'Crying Crow'  - ' On the right course'.

"Crying Crow was a painting I made in 2003. I was very ill, and found myself in a dark place. 

Birds were my inspiration to survive. I wanted to fly into the light again.

I literally crawled out of my bed to paint the dark background on this A2 sheet of wood.

Back to bed for a rest.

Hours later, or maybe the next day, I painted to colourful vortex. A few days later the crow.

I called it 'Crying Crow'.

Liam Murphy wrote in his review of Hatched, in the Munster Express (2006)  "... The paintings in this book are beautiful, like CRYING CROW as a dark bird soars hopefully into the glowing red vortex with the caption  Pain - ting."...

Exactly ten years later, this lonely crow became part of a larger flock again.

I started college  one night a week. A HUGE undertaking, but the Disability Studies course did change the direction of my creative work and my life. 

One of my fellow students brought a bag full of lichen covered twigs one day for my art.

As it turned out that these twigs came from ancient trees at the grounds of Monastery and great flock of crows gathered on these trees at night.

I was on the right course.

Now, I think it is time to move on again. To let it go. To make room for the next flight.

A new era of puppetry has commenced. New work has to be created. And new people to teach.

If you are interested to own 'Crying Crow' - 'On the right path',  please contact me.

This painting/3D work can not really be posted, so needs to be collected.

Any reasonable offer accepted.

Further reading/viewing

• My creative story and puppet making was featured on Irish National Television RTE Nationwide. Scroll to 16 minutes into the program.
• If you are interested in a Puppet Making Course, please contact me and I will forward course details. One course starting end of June, the next in August.
• Review mentioned above:

My heart leaps when I think of these incredible creative moments.

Once a week, my studio is alive.

More alive than it has ever been since it was build six years ago.

I get there when I can, 

but since I started teaching...

There is laughter.

There is chat.

Creative Silence.

And wonder.

So much wonder.

I watch in awe as the puppet characters come to live 

from a piece of clay, 

through the hands of their makers.

I know this is not always an easy process.

It requires patience.

And trust.

Trust to let the creative process happen.

To let the puppet arrive, 

not always as the maker had anticipated.

The key is to let it happen.

Such joy when it DOES happen.

My heart leaps when I think of these incredible moments.

Here a brief introduction to the makers and their puppet heads in progress:

Pascale De Coninck, Jackie Flynn, Louise Clarke in my studio, 

and Greg Crowhurst via distant learning. 

(Who also joins us when possibly via video link during the Monday class)

The studio-students are almost ready to paint their puppets.

The heads are made, the hands are almost finished. 

The bodies are being assembled. 

The clothing designs discussed and fabric gathered.

Pascale

Jackie

Louise



Greg

The three studio-students keep on working, 
when I retreat to my house to rest. 
But I relish in seeing them through the window.
And hear the sounds.

My studio is a happy place.

Thank you all!

*I was recently interviews by Stephen from Puppet Place in Bristol- 

on how I came to be a puppet maker, and teacher.

See this link: Puppets And M.E.

* If you like to book a class...

• The next class of three students is fully booked.
• But I am taking bookings for 8 week studio-based-class starting in March 2018.
• Or if you like to do a distant learning course, that can start any time. I supply most of the materials, step by step guidelines, as well as several online tutorials. 
• Have a group project in mind?
• For further details on all these options, please contact me.

Japanese Dancer Mia, made by Anne Palmer

A visual account of how 'Mia' came into being under the hands of Anne Palmer. The first doll made in my studio by someone other than myself.  Mia is turning out to be beautiful.

'Mia',  made by Anne Palmer
(Her Kimono is still to be finished)

A few months ago I announced here on my blog that I had made the decision to teach puppet and doll making in my studio. To concentrate on 'all-things-puppet'. At the time I had no idea how this was going to work, if anyone might be interested. Little did I know that I would receive requests for puppet making classes from people who did not even know I was teaching... 

The word must be out in the universe.

Anyway. Anne Palmer was the first to complete an eight week long course, although she still has to finish her doll Mia's kimono. The second class (of three students) has started, the third one is already booked. (Classes run for one and a half hour per week, for 8 weeks, with plenty of work to do at home.)

I just LOVE to see the individual characters emerge. 

The very early stages of what became to be Mia

Anne came to my class with Margaret, (who was unable to continue half way through). Anne's aim was to create a Japanese dancer, based on a poem she had written:

Flying crane on a Japanese kimono

I could be this bird

whose movement across

the warp of time

is more real

than my thread-bare 

imitation.

I could just be,

free from

sophisticated knots

that tie and dye me

in stringy metres

starched and subdued.

My poems would zing

like the crane's daisy-chain legs

following the ghost

of my bird-body

traced by a skilled hand 

in some grand design.

© Anne Palmer 2017

The character is starting to emerge

stuffing the body

As Anne's doll was going to be attached to a painted screen, we decided that there was no point in adding strings to make a fully workable puppet. We chose a stuffed, and wired body, and added syringes in the back in order to attach the doll to the backdrop. An experimental way, but it worked!

Mia against the Japanese Screen,
which will have painted panels,
felt panels
and the words of the poem written on it.

creating some beautiful hands

Mia, will be holding a fan in one hand, while her other hand portrays a gracious movement. 

I think Anne made a wonderful pair of hands.

ahh... a bit of a rest in the studio before class!

lip-painting

As the facilitator,  it is wonderful to see the connection that is made over the weeks between the maker and the emerging doll/puppet. Often there is a bond between them. Between the two worlds. Or perhaps between the outer and inner world of the maker. A mysterious adventure into the unknown.

Anne opted to keep the facial features white, with a hint of rouge, and very distinct red lips.

And created a 'bodysuit' for under the kimono.

almost ready to see into our world.

I ask new students not to have a fully formed idea on what their puppet/doll should look like. The puppets have a habit of come out the way they want. 

The ability to let the creative process happen  is key to a fun adventure, and successful outcome.

haircut

Proud mama Anne

This Japanese Dancer is at this stage sill awaiting
her kimono, but the fabric has been chosen
and the design created.

I look forward to see Mia as fully finished doll. With Kimono and fan. As well as the Japanese themed backdrop with the painted panels, the felted panels and the poetry.

What an incredible multi media project.

Well done Anne!

Further reading and links:

• Contact me if you are interested in learning the art of making puppets/dolls. I am also exploring Skype/email classes.
• Puppet Reflection, the progress and story of my own puppets in the making
• The astonishing world inhabited by puppets
• Thoughts on puppet making workshops and other workshops

All done and dusted

The hospital saga is finally over.
During the past 6 months there has been WAY too much emphasis on medical issues. Hospital appointments, procedures, surgery, in patient stays and waiting for scans and results...
Done.
Finished!

After seeing the neurologist yesterday (a three and half hour wait in a crowded waiting room and corridor) I was told that although the MRI scan revealed further deterioration of my upper spine/neck, the spinal cord was not affected. GOOD! So knowing that, I can go back to sorting my wacky body out for myself. In the way I feel best. Away from hospitals.
The answers to my wellbeing are not to be found in hospitals...
There was a brief mention again of neuro-psychiatry but I choose to ignore that. Also some other scary sounding drug, which improves energy, and is used by guys running around on the stockbroker markets... I am not interested.

What I am interested in, is, how I can go back to being me. 
To play in my studio. To be among creative individuals. To be out in nature, in my garden, and beyond. To find solace in meditation, and silence. To explore how I can increase my movements.

observing the many bees on my lavender plant

To get back on track with my walking plan, and now I know that my spinal cord is ok, I can do some gentle exercises with more confidence. I will seek support with straightening my 'twisted' spine and neck. And maybe, just maybe, I can put a plan in place to get onto some form of bicycle... Even if that means starting with a peddle-devise placed on the floor to get my legs moving like it would be on a bike. Sitting on the duo-bicycle in Holland is still SO much on my mind.

It is just unfortunate that there was a two month delay (after being an in-patient in hospital) to be able to trust my own gut feelings. Medics around me all had emphasized the importance of the brain, neck and upper spine MRI, that I felt my life - my progress back to some 'normality'- was on hold.

HSE

Health Service Executive

Really?

Anyway.
I am looking forward to getting back on track.

In the creative sense I have already done so.

• I started teaching my first puppet making class last Sunday. A class of three students.
• And I already have three students booked in for a class starting in September.
• Next week I will be giving my talk at the Puppet Symposium. I am honoured to be among such an amazing group of speakers from all over the world. (And a little daunted by it too, to be honest.)
• And I have made a gentle return to working on my animation figures. Making a mould to make little hands... This is already a one year project. Two to make the finishing line?

Anne and Margaret working hard

start of making the head

Even at this early stage the three puppets
are developing their own personalities

making the base for the puppet hands 

making the base for the puppet hands

Puppet making workshop

It has been a while since wrote my blog...

Writing time on the computer is limited. Like anything else in life, priorities had to be made.

As you might have read, for the past while I had to dig deep to find my balance again. To find the trust again in who I am as an artist and writer living with chronic illness.

I dug deep. Literally in the soil of my garden, and metaphorically in my being.
Sorting what could go: plants, stuff, weeds, people, thoughts, situations. I looked back at what works for me, where my life's interest are, and being (somewhat) realistic where my capabilities lie. Anyway, I know that all of this was to make space for new adventures.

The Life Outside the Box Puppet project, which I facilitated a while back with my fellow members of the Irish Wheelchair Association (IWA), is a project dear to my heart. I loved working with my fellow members. To see them grow in confidence. To explore how they could make the puppets. To be part of the laughter. The joy. To see how to project was welcomed outside of the IWA. Out in the community.

I am ready to see how I can develop my ideas further, also in practical terms. I have made some amazing creative contacts of late, who have all supported me to make this next step. The Puppet Symposium in a few weeks, is a wonderful opportunity to make valuable contacts in this new field of research. And have applied for a Arts Participation Bursary from the Arts Council.
I am stepping out of my box. Out of my cocoon.

SO...
And I am excited to say, that I am getting my studio, and mind, ready to welcome my first three puppet making students. We are starting in a few days!

Ready for the first puppet making workshop

supervisors

puppet in the making... (with walking sticks)

this is how it will all begin

The Little Wings Studio

See more about my projects, and ideas, HERE

Puppet Power

Yesterday I had a visit from a creative friend.

She brought her doll she has been working on for a number of years, in the hope I could guide her on the next step to bring it into being.

After lunch we made it into my studio.

view from my studio

I took up position on my 'home-made-recliner-window-seat' while Pascale sat at the work table. 

the window seat- made from an old shelf unit.

It was lovely just to BE in my studio and looking out at the birds in my garden.

And to just chat about creative ideas. Where to go from here.

I did not feel the need to do any work. I did not really have the energy.

What I DID do, was to take a new Pasta maker  (see below) out of the box, to see if it really would work to make thin sheets of clay for future projects.

It did!

And when I put the thin sheet of clay in the 'spagetty' part of the machine, it made this wonderful "hair", which I deposited onto a head I had made a few years ago.

Who knows, 'it' might be made into a puppet one day, now it is sporting a new hair-do.

Hair!
Playing with a pasta maker

The teaching of making puppets, and the healing aspect of this, is one of the things I would like to focus on in the near future. Preferable teaching in my studio (but open to other suggestions), so I have all materials at hand, I don't have to pack boxes, or think too far ahead in terms of what I need to bring.

This idea follows on from the "Life Outside the Box" Puppetry Project. An inclusive Art Project I facilitated with fellow members of the Irish Wheelchair Association. 

The project was much more than just having a bit of fun. It brought many of the makers out of their comfort zone, in a good way. We explored our personal boundaries and that of society. Through the puppets, we as people living with disabilities, became parts of society in an unexpected way. 

Our project explored boundaries imposed by society. And as a result, the end product- a set of puppets and a film, were seen by many: in exhibitions, at a disability film festival in Canada, in the local cinema, in many news paper articles, and on national television. See the film we made, and the project in more detail on this Puppet Blog. It brought a discussion about. Beautiful.

Also as a result of this project I have been invited to give a paper at the upcoming The Broken Puppet: A symposium on puppetry, disability and health. 

I hope to build on this puppet-power, by working with other groups of people.

Preferably in my studio- a group up to 4 people is maximum.

If interested- please let me know.

Or is you are reading this and would like to explore if I can teach in another location, and with a larger group of people, and can provide the necessary support, I gladly hear from you.

But for today, the limelight is on Pascale's doll in progress... who in a way solidified my thoughts on doing puppet workshops. Thank you!

Visiting doll 

surgery

Belly- Button!

... home again, and sitting much more upright
with more confidence and pride.

for illustration only, this is the
pasta maker I mention-
a brilliant tool for the studio