Robert Cat was my companion during illness

It is with great sadness to have to say goodbye to Robert Cat

my Companion and Teacher

Robert  (?) May 2007-  28 December 2016

For the past nine and a half years
Robert Cat has been my companion

He seem to understand when I was unwell

and in need of compassion

He has been my teacher
 to take life easy

and to hide from the world

when life is too hard

We shared a simple daily routine

and during our recent walks 

he would be concerned for my well being

He was a supervisor

and admirer

of my creative work

page From Into the Light

Robert was the inspiration

 for many of my stories

As he was always with me on my walks 

during the writing of the Cirrus Chronicles (2008)

he became one of the characters in it 

Page from Cirrus Chronicles with Robert Cat 

In 2011 I created Flying on Little Wings

and Robert was in there too,
warning the birds about danger.

Robert

with all of his 7 kg

was a great lover of FOOD!

This was his daily pose to alarm me
that it would be dinner time soon
It always brought a smile to my face


I will miss the
"I am going to die if I don't eat in the next second"
kind of cry by the sound of opening a tin of tuna

And the ...
'please, please, please'
when opening the fridge
to take out a tub of yoghurt (see short video)

...........

I am deeply saddened that he is gone
but privileged to have had his company

And to have shared his existence
with so many of you

He used to receive Christmas cards
just in his name...
and throughout his life had cyber cuddles 
from as far away as Australia


I have no idea how I will deal with the silence he leaves behind
How I won't listen out for him to come in my bedroom window
How I don't look for him in my garden,
and how birdwatching will be on my own now

How, when I go for an afternoon nap,
that he won't be there to cuddle up under the blanket.
(only at that time of the day- never any other)

How his/our unbroken routine
will be continued without him

So many memories
so many thoughts

We buried him this morning
in the front garden
in his favorite spot
Surrounded by six humans and one cat
we said farewell

Thank you all of you who were part of his life

May he rest easily

Cirrus Chronicles- a story inspired by short walks

Page from Cirrus Chronicles by Corina Duyn 

Cirrus Chronicles- Landing in Ballynelligan, is a fairy-story-with-a-difference. The story was conceived during my short walks along Lady Louisa's Walk in December 2008. 

Every time I went for my (fifteen minute) walk, I thought about this story: what Cloud Fairy Cirrus would see, who he would meet, what they might do. I took many photographs along the way which also inspired the story, and many of which became illustrations in the book. 

Thinking about the story, and having my camera with me, made me less aware of the struggle I had with walking. It made it fun.

The Robin, who is the first 'person' Cirrus met, accompanied me on many of these walks. 

Quite extraordinary.

I also made a small sculpture of Cirrus which I then superimposed into the photographs.  

Cirrus Chronicles is a story of a Cloud Fairy Cirrus Kalani when he accidentally lands in a field in Ballynelligan (a real location). There he meets Sarah Robin, Wally Wood mouse, Robert Cat, a song trush, partying Christmas Tree Fairies and a wooden Zebra. 

Following is an abstract from this small book. To set the scene: Cirrus took part in an event on Cloud Nine: Cloud Hole Jumping. This is what happened.

...

Cirrus made himself as tall as he could, all five inches of him, and walked towards the starting line of the track. Taking a deep breath, he started on his run. Counting eleven small steps, Cirrus slowly increased his speed. Then three long steps, all the while concentrating on his posture. However, what he could not calculate, were the many marshmallows bumping up against each other, in the litres of lemonade in his belly. Just before the last and most important jump, he slipped, and tumbled through the Cloud-Hole.

Sliding with great speed down the rainbow below him, legs in the air.

(next chapter)

Wet Trousers

“Get out of my bath!” Cirrus looked up, and saw a bird, smaller than himself, sticking out its red breast. “Get out of my bath! Can’t you hear me?”

Cirrus was a little scared. He had never been away from home before.

To be honest, he felt pretty embarrassed too, sitting with his bottom in a puddle of water.

“I am so sorry,” he said in a shaky voice, “it happened by accident.”

“Well, you just make sure it doesn’t happen again,” was the reply. “This is MY field and MY bath!” The bird flew off in disgust.

Cirrus ran towards the edge of the field, water sloshing in his yellow boots, and sat down on a moss-covered rock.

The sweet smelling grasses surrounding his hiding spot, were tall enough to reach the rooftop of his parents’ house. To see the tops of the enormous trees in their winter outfits, he had to lie on his back.

Taking off his boots and wet stripy socks, he asked a little shaken, “where am I, and how on cloud do I get home again?”

Hanging his trousers out to dry on a low branch, he looked out over the field. Through a gap in the trees he could make out a river. On the other side there were trees that looked like huge wet feathers.

“Look at those mountains, they are so green,” he said in awe, “and so BIG!”

“Well, what do you expect?” the red-breasted bird called out from a nearby tree. “You are looking at the Knockmealdown Mountains. What you see there are only the hills. You should see the REAL mountains!” the bird boasted.

“The ‘what me down’ mountains?”

“The Knockmealdown mountains, with the famous Vee Gap. ARHG, what would you know about mountains!”

“We have mountains too you know,” Cirrus said in his defence. He was feeling rather self conscious, sitting in his knickers, legs covered in goose bumps.

“So, where did YOU come from?” the bird asked.

“From up there,” pointing his skinny finger at the sky. To his horror

Cirrus could not make out Cloud Nine, Cloud Nimbo, or any other

Cloud for that matter. The rainbow too, had long since disappeared.

Taking a deep breath, he continued, “and if you would be so kind as to tell me, where am I now?”

“In Ireland, you ejit. Don’t you know anything?” The bird stuck out its breast again, ruffled its feathers, holding its head up high, tail resting on the branch. “You are in County Waterford, near the town of Lismore. To be more precise, you are in the townland of Ballynelligan, in the field owned by me and the Scanlon’s.”

“Enough,” said Cirrus. “One more thing though, who are you?”

“I am Sarah Robin, registered resident of this glorious field!”

“My name is Cirrus Kalani, and I live on Cloud Nine.”

“Cirrus? Never heard THAT name before!”

“I am named after those feathery clouds, you see high up in the sky,” he explained, “and if you like to know, my granny told me that Kalani means ‘the sky’.” 

Page from Cirrus Chronicles by Corina Duyn

There are many adventures. The overall goal is to get Cirrus home again... 'Santa Man' will make an appearence too...

Links:

To buy a copy of Cirrus Chronicles- Landing in Ballynelligan, click HERE 

With EVERY book order I will also post a copy to Barnardos, a children's charity in Ireland.

Childhood interests leading to present day writing

Are our interests during childhood the stepping stones, the seeds, for whatever we end up doing in adulthood?

What will Sinterklaas bring me?

Watching a TV program the other day about toys from the past- (a looking back at Christmas through toys), I remembered a photograph of me longingly looking at toys on display in a shop window.
I found it in a scrapbook my mother made for me, a very, very long time ago.

To my delight there were many drawings and pages of writing in there too: A drawing made on my first day at school, age 4;  Letters and drawings for Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet (Saint Nicolas and Black Peter); Handmade birthday cards for my parents, and Mother's Day and Father's Day's Poems; Christmas and New Year's wishes.

The pages in this scrapbook which really made me sit up and think how my past shaped my present day life, were the pages from school notebooks.

Translation 

"This little girl is me.

I am big already.

In learn in school

We paste things.

I make a beautiful book

A book with images

I still make books,

with images...

Translation: left:Write a story by this image.

Right: There was a little girl who was very poor. She 

lived in a small hut, in a large forest. She lived there all alone, 

so she had to clean the house all by herself. As she was really poor, 

her clothes were not very nice. One day a really rich man passed 

by and said to the little girl. You get a new dress. This the little girl 

liked very much.

I still write stories based on images.
Forests.

Living in a small hut (lovely!) 
Not quite the reality, but a dream all the same.

Happy with a small gift.

Not sure about the rich man though...

Title: Het Vogeltje

This story was called Het Vogeltje

(The little bird)

Not my own story I am sure

but curious it survived for almost 50 years

Birds...

Little Birds...

I have spend the last 18 years writing about, 

and creating birds...

Thank goodness my writing has improved

from these Very First Written Letters

My first written 'words', aged 4

My more current writing and books

See HERE

The magic of Christmas is through sharing

Dear Friends, I hope this finds you well. My thoughts during these (frenzied) pre-Christmas-shopping-days go to those people who have no home - who are living in hotels, hostels, shelters, or on the streets. And to the children in these situations, or those young souls who need our support to simply be a child. And to adults and children who are living with the challenges of illness.   With this in mind, I am making donations in various ways:  25% of proceeds of orders for Into the Light books, or prints, or original sculptures will go to Focus Ireland.  “Focus Ireland helps prevent families, young people and individuals from having to first experience homelessness if possible. For those currently experiencing homelessness, they identify the best available supports and options to aid them on their journey out of homelessness”. I will match each order of Cirrus Chronicles– Landing in Ballynelligan for a Children’s group of your choice, for example Barnados, with an extra copy of the book, and a copy 'Flying on Little Wings'. I will pay for the postage. “Barnardos is a children’s charity. They work with vulnerable children and their families in Ireland and campaign for the rights of all children”. And those of you who would like to support their local hospice or health clinic with the Into the Light Care Box (which has a set of laminated pages specifically designed for use in hospital/hospice/complementary clinic/care centre/GP etc), I will acknowledge your kindness with the box, and will cover the cost of postage. The true cost of this version is €60, but through sponsorship has been reduced to €40.    See all the details on how to get involved HERE

Thank you for your kindness this Christmas. Thank you for helping me to help others. Or by finding other ways to support the people who need us the most at this time of the year - through funds, clothing, practical support and kindness. With every best wish to you and all. Corina.

Radio and Blog as communication tools

What a week it has been ...
A week of learning and accepting, of beauty and annoyance, of extreme tiredness, pure joy and big smiles. 
A week in which I was told - again-  to not give up on the path I am on, and that I Rock :-)

It started off with art student Phyllis coming for work experience. A sharing of skills and knowledge: I have support to do some experimental work on my animation project, in turn I give guidance with the sculptural work for her course.

After the interview on TCRfm
with Bernadette and Stan Phillips.
image from facebook page

On Tuesday I received a phone call from Bernadette Phillips, while she was visiting the Dis-ability ... This Ability exhibition.  Bernadette persuaded me to travel to Tramore on Thursday to be interviewed on their 'World in View'  program on Tramore Community Radio.
I was honoured to be asked, but also concerned about travelling two days in a row as unfortunately I had a hospital appointment on Wednesday which made me yet again experience the wasteful-workings-of-the-HSE ... I will write about that later, as it would spoil the beauty of the other happenings this week!

I am SO glad that Bernadette did not settle for having an interview conducted over the phone...
Yes it was a challenge to get up on Thursday morning while feeling quite ill with tiredness, even though I had been in bed and on the couch for almost twenty hours. Painkillers, a shower, meditation and a conviction that this was an opportunity not to be missed, I was driven to Tramore. Yet again the weather played its part and granted me with stunning views of mountains and the sea. 
Even the studio has a view over the beach and sea!

The connection that was made with Bernadette during our initial phonecall certainly continued when we met. The energy of Bernadette and husband Stan, who run the radio program together, is just simply beautiful.  They are people who are absolutely grounded in spirituality, in nature, in love of life, in understanding of life. What a privilege to be in their company, to talk with them about my journey through life and illness. About art and writing, disability and the exhibition. To received encouragement, or maybe their 'push' to not deviate from the path I am currently on: to share with 'the world' the Ability of people with dis-abilities. To share my story. Bernadette- like Grace O'Sullivan at the opening talk looked me straight into my eyes when saying this... Thank you! Thank you also to the listeners who commented with such positivity on the interview.

The half hour interview is available as podcast . My interview starts at about 9.30 minutes in, although the whole program is interesting!

For me personally, there is a lot to take in from this interview, the exhibition, the reactions to it all. It does take time to make it mine - to find ways in which I can tell me story in a way that it does not negatively influence my health, by going over my energy limits. 

This BLOG is for now the best communication tool I can use, and over time, maybe I can do more talks, like to ones I did this year at The Sanctaury, at UCC, radio, at exhibitions and book launches... All in good time! If you like to get notifications of my posts, please sign up for "Follow by email" 

Again, Thank YOU, my readers for coming along on my journey of discovery.

Show during Trump protest,
with original quote by Angela Y. Davis 

To finish of for today, I saw this quote recently: “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept…” - Angela Y. Davis

A good goal to have!

Links for further reading: 

Grace O'Sullivan's talk, which is included in this post 
Hatched (with poetry and images) now available as e-book 
Talk at the Sanctuary 
My book SHOP
Tramore Community Radio 'World In View'
Bernadette Phillips website

Apparently I 'rock', now that made me smile!
facebook comment

There is no such thing as dis-ability ...

... if you take the dis out of dis-ability. [views expressed are in connection with the group who are part of the exhibition]

Today I visited the Dis-ability… This Ability exhibition in Tramore. I wanted to see it in my own time, to take in the energy around the exhibits; to really look at the work, the location, the story behind it. And to explore my own story within it all.

Ann O'Grady and Karen organising the puppets

It is just about a week ago that I travelled to Tramore with Artist Anna Moore to set up the exhibition. It took us and fellow IWA member Ann O’Grady and her sister Karen over two and a half hours. We divided up the tasks between the hanging of the prints and paper art, the display of the puppets, and the various books, notebooks and postcards. Pleased, but exhausted, we departed to meet again at the launch the following day.                        

I stayed at a hotel that night, I'm so glad I didn't have far to travel! My back felt like it had about 6 twists in it. My legs, in serious pain, were close to being put up for adoption, and I was totally exhausted. But we were all very pleased with what we had achieved! 

The way Ann and Karen displayed the puppets from the puppet - project  all tell a story: A story of music, fun, and traveling abroad by plane, or on a butterfly. Of life, and being a proud Irish citizen. The story of being a reporter but also of stillness and even flirting!

Biker and Baker from the puppet-project,
by Mark Foley and Sarah Lennon

They show the story of our lives, lived with illness or disability - by stepping out of the Box to share the story of our Ability! The paper art, books, cards, poetry, knitwear and paintings on sale all tell the same story- just through other forms. 

I am so immensely proud of all the work that has been created. Proud of my fellow IWA members - proud how they all jumped into the deep end with me all those months ago to create these puppets, to create a story, to create such amazing works, way beyond anyone's expectations. I am honoured of the trust they endowed me with. The trust that I could guide them through this eight-month period: from handling the first piece of clay to the filming and sharing of our story.

I feel deeply privileged to have had this opportunity. To realize that, with the help of the IWA staff, I could teach again. It had been 17 years since I led my last official workshop - in a group home with teenagers. I still think about that workshop which I had to abandon because of sudden illness. I still want to go back there and finish the puppets with them. But knowing that 17 years has passed, these young lads and lasses probably have kids of their own right now…

Anyway, back to the present.

I had doubts in my physical ability to curate/run this exhibition. After my solo exhibition in July my health was badly challenged. I was concerned this would happen again. But, it has been a week since the exhibition opening, and I am reasonably okay. I was able to sit in a car, to meet a friend at the gallery, and to write! I did have support at the IWA for this exhibition, and I didn’t had to create any new work, other than the notebooks, but a lot of organising and overseeing still came down to me. 

Listening to the speech by Grace O’Sullivan last week  (see youtube link below), and talking to other visitors to the exhibition, I realised how this exhibition is actually a logical step in my own journey:

To bring awareness that we are more than wheelchairs, we are more than our illnesses. We still own our personalities from before illness or disability changed our lives. And even if our personality changed because of an acquired brain injury, we still have our place in the world. Yes, we don’t occupy the same ‘space’ in society as before, but does that make us any less equal?

For those who have a disability from birth, they have as valuable a space in our society as anybody else. Unfortunately, this is not how we are often treated.

People talk over our heads. Decisions are made for us. Not by us. We are at times treated as toddlers. This saddens me beyond words.

Ann and Corina after setting up the exhibition 

In my own case, yes I use a wheelchair, or a mobility scooter, or walking sticks. Sometimes I can walk for a  short distance. I wobble when I walk. Sometimes am I well, sometimes I am not.

But I am still the person who worked as a volunteer in a cultural centre as a teenager; studied and worked as a nurse, as social care worker and as self-employed artist. And who, years after becoming ill, had several solo exhibitions and published four books; as well as completing a year of disability studies, and guiding the Life Outside the Box Puppet Project. All while living with limited energy, dealing with several challenging conditions within my body, use speech-to-text software to write, a brain does not always function as I would like it to be… And that is just the tip of iceberg of living with M.E.

But I am still me!

Last week Grace O’Sullivan said - while looking me straight into my face - that I don’t accept my dis-ability: “You are absolutely motivated and have a strength of character, and are on everyone on case … you are setting the bar high. We as a nation in Ireland, are a bit of ‘cap-in-hand’. You won’t settle for that. Keep pushing the barrier!”

Grace also raised the point about the need to have people with disabilities visible in the community. “Everyone in our community is the richer for it if we can live in harmony with each other … as shown here, there is no such thing as dis-ability.”

So, with this exhibition, with Grace’s talk, with the encouragements from visitors to the exhibition and through social media, to readers of my books and blog, friends new and old, I am catapulted into trusting that I am on the right track within my own development.

That I have to keep on traveling and exploring the road life’s circumstances has brought me on: to share my views about life with illness/disability with the wider public. To speak up for others who might not have this capability. To highlight our Abilities!  For the way I see it, we have many!

Thank you for coming along on my exciting journey.

Now I will rest, and I hope you will take a few minutes to listen to Grace O'Sullivan, and that you will visit or share the exhibition.

Best wishes to you all.

Anna, Ann and Karen pleased to be finished setting up the show.

See Puppet Blog for more images and abstract of talk etc.

See my website for My art and books and SHOP.