At present, I am utterly overwhelmed by the reality of M.E.

Sorry for not having been in touch as promised during my Puppet Travels.

Póilin looking out at the birds
(just like me)

To my astonishment, I did not even write one word in my personal diary/journal/notebook what ever one wants to call it. I came back with a completely blank (brand new- gorgeous leather bound) notebook.

When I think about it, maybe it is not so 'astounishing' as although I managed to do my talks and meetings - most of the remainder of my time I was resting. And tried very hard to stay as well as well could be.
I did it.
I am proud I did my talks. Honoured to have received such lovely responses. Grateful for the time I was given by other puppet makers/designers/performers to explore new skills and to find way to incorporate puppets in my journey with M.E. Touched by the kindness of strangers, who wanted to hear my story and by those who so kindly gave their time to support me.

But.

I am so utterly overwhelmed by the reality of M.E. By the onslaught this adventure had on my body. On my mind. On my conviction that I can rise above the challenges of my body. 

I can't.

And that is another reason why I still have not written one word in my diary. Because I know that if I start writing about the amazing people I met, the joy of 'all things puppet', the kindness, the opportunities, I will also have to fact that I feel utterly at a loss. That I am out of sorts. That I am so aware of the reality of even more limiting mobility, of needing more practical support, of the fight we - as people with M.E- have to fight in order to be heard and seen. To be accepted. To be understood. To be valued. To have our very real and honest experiences taken seriously by the HSE and the Government. To not be told that we are not ill.
Oh my goodness, do I want to be well!

I want to be able to follow up on the puppet and writing opportunities coming my way.
I want to 'go out and play'.
I want to write for journals. For news papers.
To go back into my studio and explore new ways of making puppets.
I long to go out and walk. To just leave my house - alone- and go to the supermarket - the bank- a cafe.
Go for walk outside my gate to the river I know is there.
Take a drive to the beach. A walk in the woods. To touch and smell the forest.
To see spring/summer arrive. To see the forest carpet of blue bells and wild garlic.

(of boy - this writing is taking a very different leap to what I thought when I turned on the computer...)

Anyway. If anyone dares to tell me that I am ill because of a lack of 'want', 

Well, as one of my puppets said:

'The next dr. who tells me 'it's all in my head

and that happy thoughts will cure me'

Well, I'd better NOT say what

I will do to them ...

MEAI

One of "The Girls" ready for the Protest in Dublin

Yes, I am utterly sad at the moment. 

I am sad because I am ill.
I am not ill because I am sad.

I am sad as I know of so many others with M.E. who are fighting all the time to be heard, to get support. Who are stuck at home and are doing their best to find ways to live well.

As you might know, I am a member of M.E. Advocates Ireland- a groups of 7 women, all living with or caring for someone with M.E. On our blog there are some harrowing, sad, powerful stories about the reality of life with M.E. And how wee see what needs to be - and can- change.

We campaign from our beds and homes.

We are campaigning for change - through the media - social media  - radio interview and a Visibility Protest on Thursday A 10th May at our Government Buildings  

I won't be there myself, but am doing my bit through the media. Travel, or staying overnight in a hotel is way beyond me at the moment. Even the thought of it is too much. 

Read article HERE 

Uprooting- and grounding 

To find me again, within the reality of M.E., I have been resting. Watching movies. Watching the birds. And been reconnecting with the earth. Every day I go out and clear a tiny patch in my garden. 5 minutes. Ten minutes when I am brave - or foolish. 

Feeling the earth. Smelling the earth. Touching base. Grounding myself, are hugely important.

 ... and funny enough I seem to have done the exact same last year when I felt 'out of sorts'  

after time away from all I know...

Slowly, I hope to gaining ground again.

Clearing my garden also creates a sense of space. Physical space in my garden, mental space in my head.

I hope that by having been brave enough to face my blog again, maybe I will truly pick up my pen and start writing. Start facing the daemons. Find that level of acceptance again and move on.

When the time is right, I will look at the photos of my puppet adventures. Listen to the talks I gave, and try to bring the experiences into focus, for myself and for anyone who want to hear/read it.

Thank you again to all who made the journey possible. 

In time I will understand the essence of this adventure. Learn from it and find ways to incorporate puppets and travel into my life.

Much love.

Corina

Radio and Blog as communication tools

What a week it has been ...
A week of learning and accepting, of beauty and annoyance, of extreme tiredness, pure joy and big smiles. 
A week in which I was told - again-  to not give up on the path I am on, and that I Rock :-)

It started off with art student Phyllis coming for work experience. A sharing of skills and knowledge: I have support to do some experimental work on my animation project, in turn I give guidance with the sculptural work for her course.

After the interview on TCRfm
with Bernadette and Stan Phillips.
image from facebook page

On Tuesday I received a phone call from Bernadette Phillips, while she was visiting the Dis-ability ... This Ability exhibition.  Bernadette persuaded me to travel to Tramore on Thursday to be interviewed on their 'World in View'  program on Tramore Community Radio.
I was honoured to be asked, but also concerned about travelling two days in a row as unfortunately I had a hospital appointment on Wednesday which made me yet again experience the wasteful-workings-of-the-HSE ... I will write about that later, as it would spoil the beauty of the other happenings this week!

I am SO glad that Bernadette did not settle for having an interview conducted over the phone...
Yes it was a challenge to get up on Thursday morning while feeling quite ill with tiredness, even though I had been in bed and on the couch for almost twenty hours. Painkillers, a shower, meditation and a conviction that this was an opportunity not to be missed, I was driven to Tramore. Yet again the weather played its part and granted me with stunning views of mountains and the sea. 
Even the studio has a view over the beach and sea!

The connection that was made with Bernadette during our initial phonecall certainly continued when we met. The energy of Bernadette and husband Stan, who run the radio program together, is just simply beautiful.  They are people who are absolutely grounded in spirituality, in nature, in love of life, in understanding of life. What a privilege to be in their company, to talk with them about my journey through life and illness. About art and writing, disability and the exhibition. To received encouragement, or maybe their 'push' to not deviate from the path I am currently on: to share with 'the world' the Ability of people with dis-abilities. To share my story. Bernadette- like Grace O'Sullivan at the opening talk looked me straight into my eyes when saying this... Thank you! Thank you also to the listeners who commented with such positivity on the interview.

The half hour interview is available as podcast . My interview starts at about 9.30 minutes in, although the whole program is interesting!

For me personally, there is a lot to take in from this interview, the exhibition, the reactions to it all. It does take time to make it mine - to find ways in which I can tell me story in a way that it does not negatively influence my health, by going over my energy limits. 

This BLOG is for now the best communication tool I can use, and over time, maybe I can do more talks, like to ones I did this year at The Sanctaury, at UCC, radio, at exhibitions and book launches... All in good time! If you like to get notifications of my posts, please sign up for "Follow by email" 

Again, Thank YOU, my readers for coming along on my journey of discovery.

Show during Trump protest,
with original quote by Angela Y. Davis 

To finish of for today, I saw this quote recently: “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept…” - Angela Y. Davis

A good goal to have!

Links for further reading: 

Grace O'Sullivan's talk, which is included in this post 
Hatched (with poetry and images) now available as e-book 
Talk at the Sanctuary 
My book SHOP
Tramore Community Radio 'World In View'
Bernadette Phillips website

Apparently I 'rock', now that made me smile!
facebook comment

Into the light in a nutshell

The reaching into the light through my art and writing continues. 


But first a VERY BIG THANK YOU to Anastasia Palmer; Pascale De Coninck; Paul Mahony, Rose Farrell; Phyllis Davis; Jennifer Puerner; Jenny Hollenberg; Derbhile Dromey; Kaite O'Reilly; Marco Hollenberg; Jane Jermyn; Ellen Vivian Piro; Rosalind Fanning; Fiona Kearney and 3 anonymous funders whom together raised 28% in my fund it  campaign. My deepest gratitude.


Last Tuesday I was interviewed by Pádraig Naugthon, (Arts and Disability Ireland) on his Arts & Disability Radio program on Near FM, to talk about my Into the Light book project. This very interesting program runs every second Tuesday.
Listen to my interview from 7.45 minutes into the program, to 30.30 minutes ... with a gorgeous song by Cara Dillon in between. 

Two weeks ago, I did an interview with Sean O'Rourke in the company of Sarah Meehan. Click here to listen back.

Just in case you are new to this blog and you don't know what Into the Light is all about...

Well, it is a book in a wooden box, consisting of approximately 80 loose A5 sheets.

Each sheet has a short reflection on life with chronic illness, but applicable to any of lives challenges: from fear, hope, acceptance, personal challenges and society’s opinions, to moments of gratitude. It is illustrated with art images and nature photographs, accompanied by quotes from other authors.

And to help me publish the book, I am running a Crowd Funding campaign. There are many rewards. See more about how it works on my website. On that page are also images of the books, artworks, and tapestries on offer.

There is a short introductory video on youtube. 
A very short video about a very long journey from being a full time artist, to be coming ill with M.E. and how creativity became my life line and way to be part of the world
see here



Thanking you for your visit!

Links:

• Fund it  - Crowd Funding campaign
• Crowd funding explained and images of rewards
• Video
• Arts and Disability Radio  
• Sean O'Rourke Radio

If you have any question, please email me 

Crowd funding and being on the radio

What       a      Week!

Outside RTE, photo by Sarah Meehan

The last few weeks have been very busy indeed. Brendan - my media man- has been working hard to set up a facebook page, get the crowd funding proposal ready for my book project "Into the Light".  I helped where I could. We created a video about the project. We also made some changes to my website to make the art and photography galleries viewable on tablets and mobile phones ... and I was on the radio...

The Fund It crowd-funding page was launched yesterday,  to help me publish my Into the Light book.

The idea is that people who like my project can pledge money toward the printing of my book pages and the making of the boxes. There are various rewards in return:

• Copies of my previous books,
• A signed and numbered pre-publication copy of Into the Light in the wooden box,
• One of the twelve special editions boxes, a linen covered case, made by Muckross Bookbindery,
• Have YOUR name printed in my book, as acknowledgment of your support,
• And there are a variety of original artworks and tapestries on offer.

The choice is yours. If it is €15 (books) or anywhere from €145 to €495 for one of my artworks, or for my latest sculpture Wisdom (€1500) Or add your own amount. I am grateful to all the support !


This is how it works:

• Go to my :Fund:it page 
• Click on the large :FUND:IT button, which bring to a page to 'sign in' with your email address.
• Choose one of the 'rewards' on offer, or scroll down the define your own amount (for this there is no reward in return).
• It will then ask for your payment details.
• The money will only be deducted IF I HAVE REACHED THE TARGET, in the allotted 35 days.
• If I have been successful, the reward you pledged for will be delivered to you, or will be ready for collection.
• Many many thanks

A 'selfie' by Sarah. Outside RTE buildings

AND...  I was invited to do a radio interview with Sean O'Rourke as a result of the article that appeared in the Journal. I shared the interview with Sarah Meehan.

You can listen to it here

Many thanks to Brendan Holmes, Jennifer Wade -  Journal.ie,  Sian O'Gorman - researcher RTE,  Sean O'Rourke - RTE and Declan Carroll from IMET (Irish ME Trust) for making this happen. And Sarah for sharing this interesting experience!

And thank you ALL!

My deepest gratitude to have you always by my side, even if that means in cyberspace!

This project has been supported by

The 12th June saw the start of a Crowd Funding Campaign to publish my next book 'Into the Light'. 
See FUND IT  or my WEBPAGE for more.