sorry, Cats again...

What do you do with an uninvited, four legged visitor

who presents himself into one's garden...

and has no intention on leaving anytime soon

A visitor

Yesterday, my Sally Girl (Cat) had a little verbal row with a cat on the other side of the wall.
Later on I saw whom she might have had this stand of with.
A young cat was sitting on the top of my neighbours shed and looked into my garden. Quite at ease.

The cat must have known that Mariela was here. Cats seem to write and advertise about her in the Lismore Cat Daily,  as any cat who either finds herself with unwanted pregnancy, is in need of a new home, or in need of medical care would find Mariela...

And so the new Cat story begins...

The cat was fed.
He was extremely hungry.
Mariela brought him to the vet as he has some sores on his skin.
He received medical attention and is scheduled for neutering.

Mariela is on a mission to stop the unwanted increase in the stray cat population in Lismore. And is very successful in this.

Anyway.
It is a lovely affectionate cat.
He wants to come in.
But I need to have a chat with myself,
                   and with Sally Cat first.

Do I want another cat?
I didn't even wanted Robert, or Sally... But I loved and love them both dearly.

But can I cope with two cats?
Do I want two cats?
Does Sally want a playmate?
Or is she perfectly happy with the arrangements she put in place to make my house her home?

What about my health?
What about the cat's health?
It is in need of care.
Can I give this?

little tom cat looking for a home

I felt guilty having this gorgeous little cat out during this very, very cold night.
I did make it a bed in the lean-to where my scooter is parked.
I found him there this morning.
He was very happy to see me.

little tom cat looking for a home

 I put photos of the cat on facebook.
I just made a poster for on my wall, and for the Vet's office.

Please, please. Find this little cat a loving, caring, home.
and preferably not mine...

Will keep you posted.

Cats

Cats

Why would you NOT love them

As you (might) know Sally Cat  came to live with me at the end of February.
Or... in more correct terms, She moved into my house, garden, greenhouse, studio, and I am allowed to be there too.

She is one determent little lady.
Princess.
Knows what she likes, and does not like.
And does not like to be corrected or be told otherwise.

Fun!
Really, she is funny.

Every night I wake up between 3 and 4 with a Cat On My Head.

Truly.

I will try to 'paint to picture' of us at 4 am this morning.

I lie with my head on the pillow, right cheek cozy in my pillow. Sally had her front paws under my forehead. No idea how she wiggled her little paws in between my head and the pillow. Her chin completely covering my forehead. Her head on my head.
Happy out.
At least Sally was happy out.

The unfortunate thing is that she 'drools' when excessively happy...
Get the picture...?

Here some other Cat pictures that tell 'a thousand words'

Sally Relaxing in my greenhouse.
Salad? who needs salad?

Mine- all mine

Yes, I am in your studio
And yes, I am on your work.
SO?

Bed.
MY bed.
Thank you very much

Ok. You don't want me to be on your bed
So I use your chair.
I like comfort...

Some other cats who tell their stories...

My good old Robert
I had to have a picture taken for a news paper article.
Robert obviously wanted to be in there too.
And decided to have a 'poo'...

Robert.
Hungry
My 85 year old neighbour is still not impressed with Sally.
She still misses her neighbour Robert.
And why wouldn't you.

This is Momma.
On a bad mood day...

...reminding Mariela for weeks,
and weeks,
that she had stood on her paw...
Accidentally

... and there came Sally...

Readers who have been with me from before Christmas may remember my blog post about the passing of my beloved Robert Cat, who was my companion for over nine years.

Since that time many people have suggested to get a new pet.
I resisted.
The memory of Robert was too fresh.
Also, I was wondering what my physical health would 'do' without the challenges of hairs, dusts, allergies.

Weeks ago, a little tortoiseshell cat was seen around the 'Mall' (green area near the cathedral in Lismore). It was being looked after by the Dean and his family. Mariela, who is known to help sort stray cats in town, was contacted to help find a home for this cat. Of course I was asked too.
The answer was a firm NO.
I did make a poster, put it on Facebook, she was listed on internet sites, looking for a new home.
Nobody responded.

The cat moved to the local pub, and was fed there by staff. Mariela, a great believer of having all cats neutered, brought her to the vet. On the day of her surgery, I offered to look after her for the night, or until she had recovered, or found a new home. I frantically put up a new request on facebook to find her a home.

As it turned out, she had been neutered already. This only became clear after she was opened up.
The cat came home to me to recuperate. I had made her a bed- with added hot water bottle- and  a litter-tray in the bathroom. She was a bit dopey from the anaesthetic but she was very happy. She 'welcomed' me with a little meows, and purred, and rubbed against my legs every time I came into the bathroom.

Sally meditating

The following morning, she cried a little. I left the bathroom door open and went back to bed to meditate. She crawled onto my crossed legs.

We 'meditated' together...

We got up.
She walked around my little house. Inspected the study and the living room/kitchen.
She had a look on her face of "this will do nicely".
Found a spot on the couch. Purred. Settled in.
Not put out by any sounds. Not put out by home help and 6 year old daughter coming in...

She found her new home.
No discussion required.
Case closed, as far as she was concerned.

In the meantime friends on facebook were telling me:

• Maybe Robert sent her to look in on you
• She's meant for you. A loving companion who won't need exercising!
• Why don't you adopt her Corina. She's meant for you to replace Robert
• She's a gift from Universe and the Angels, please do accept it and now find a name for her.
•         My response: "Sally"
• Looks like she adopted you :-) I am a 'failed foster' and never regretted giving my Momo a loving home. My two boys Ollie and Jamie have gladly accepted her as a little sister. Sally looks like a very sweet little girl.

So, now there is Sally.
To not fall over the cardboard box I had set up for her, I made her a bed in the bottom of my "coffee-table-extra-seat-trolley". Her very own "camper-van" or "Caravan"

Sally in her caravan

She walks around as if she lived her all her life. And that I am allowed to live here too.
Knows the sound of 'sachets', and the shaking of a carton of milk.
She knows her comfort- and dislikes cold floors.
She does not even get scared when I move the wheelchair through the house.
She is supporting me - or trying out the office chair- while I write on the computer...

Sally as (not so attentive) supervisor in my study

After a few nights I let her have free reign of the house. She slept in her 'caravan', but at half past 2 (am) she came crying- talking frantically into my bedroom. As if she had had a nightmare. She jumped on the bed and placed herself ON my head. giving me little bites on my scalp, licking my hair and purring like there was no tomorrow. After a while I put her back in her bed. All was fine.

Unfortunately, the half past 2 talk is a nightly feature...

The question remains, where on earth did she come from? Who owned her? Did her "mammy" die? Was she put out on the Mall, knowing somebody will look after her?
Any Lismoreans have any ideas?

I think we might get along, but some rules are still to be ironed out.
We are working on it!


Further reading and links

• 'Tribute' to Robert Cat
• It is essential to give yourself time to grieve 

Sunday is a day of Rest

Sundays are for Rest

I was going to write about the unease that One Man (and his 'friends') can bring to the world, but it knots my stomach ... and as I would like this Little Wings Blog to be about healing, ease and growth, I decided agains taking that route. I am sure you all have your own thoughts on the subject of D.T.

Lying in my bed, 

a photo came to mind

which I took a few years ago

 of my beloved Robert Cat ...

Don't rush to get up. 

Today is a day of rest!

But if you feel like watching some short

documentaries and videos

 about my art and writing, 

you can do so 

HERE

Be good.

Be well.

It is essential to give yourself time to grieve

Today I was gong to write about acceptance and re-emerging from a dark place into the light. This thought was prompted by a (message) conversation I had with one of my readers.
But as I woke up with a heavy heart, I decided to write about what comes before re-emerging ... giving yourself time to grieve.

I woke this morning with a heavy heart.
Observing the pain, I felt that the base of it is the heart-ache of missing my beloved cat Robert who passed away a week ago.

Grieving: 

Feeling intense sorrow

from Latin gravare, gravis

Heavy, Grave*

Robert and I had such a routine build up.
In the morning he would lie on the right side of my bed to "hunt" for my toes. Always the right, never the left. Then he'd lie on his back, his head cuddled up to my chest. When I sit up on the bed and he'd circle around me, always anti-clockwise. Giving me 'kissses' when he come to the front of me. Little head-butts and a lick on my forehead or cheek. Three or four times, as if he was building a protective wall around me for the day.

As soon as I have one toe on the floor, his priorities changed from loving to needing... FOOD!!!

Every day during the past week, I see, feel, and hear his presence, and yet he is not here.
Receiving a package in the post yesterday, I was left with an empty box and no cat to climb into it. An empty yoghurt tub which has to be rinsed out, in stead of licked clean. I open the front door, but he is not on the doormat. In stead I see his grave.  (grieving- grave).

It breaks my heart that his life came to an abrupt end. And yet, I somehow knew that is was coming. Although he was not seriously ill, I felt that he was not himself either. The last few nights I'd have a chat with Robert and said that if he had to pass on, it is ok. I am ok. And thanked him for all the years we have spend together. He was diagnosed with diabetes on the day he died, but died probably of heart attack. It was heart breaking to watch his last struggles for breath. The Vet kindly came over to help him go to his eternal sleep.
I am grateful I was connected with Robert to make the call to have him at home, on his drip, and not have him alone - lonely at the Vet's - a place that would bring him fear.

I realize that I am good at putting things in perspective. To deal with what I have to deal with. To not get overwhelmed with emotions. To stay strong. But then the  - Grieve - Feeling intense sorrow - hit me this morning.

While writing these last few words, I could barely swallow the lump in my throat. And the tears are flowing.  The voice-recognition software does not recognize my voice when upset... so have to write with my fingers...

I know that lump is not just about Robert. It is about the challenges that illness, and life in general brings too.

At times 

illness makes 

you feel cheated 

out of life *

Grieving how meetings with friends are often dictated by my body's demands. Grieving about being a lot of the time on my own. The missing of taking part in society the way I would like to. Yet, I know I am quite content to follow my own simple routine in my beautiful and peaceful surroundings.
Sorrow that I am not able to be as a good a friend to my friends as they are to me. I give them time and a listening ear, but can't do much in practical terms. Grieving about people lost in my life, and those who are very ill and I can't be with. 
Reading my own words from Into the Light, I know that

It is

essential 

to allow yourself

 to grieve* 

I know that my sorrow will pass.
I know.
I have been there before.
It just hit me right in my heart this morning.

For now I will go underground, and soon I will write about how I do emerge back into the light again, armed with the wisdom from the earth.

Leaving you with a few words of wisdom from the amazing Peter Cornish from Dzogchen Beara:

Desire is the weather that stirs up this climate of pain.

It’s the wind on which we sail our ship into the ocean of sorrow.

Peter Cornish - Dazzled by Daylight *

* All quotes from a page of Into the Light  available from my WEB SHOP

Be Well my friends,

and Thank You for joining me on my journey.

Robert Cat was my companion during illness

It is with great sadness to have to say goodbye to Robert Cat

my Companion and Teacher

Robert  (?) May 2007-  28 December 2016

For the past nine and a half years
Robert Cat has been my companion

He seem to understand when I was unwell

and in need of compassion

He has been my teacher
 to take life easy

and to hide from the world

when life is too hard

We shared a simple daily routine

and during our recent walks 

he would be concerned for my well being

He was a supervisor

and admirer

of my creative work

page From Into the Light

Robert was the inspiration

 for many of my stories

As he was always with me on my walks 

during the writing of the Cirrus Chronicles (2008)

he became one of the characters in it 

Page from Cirrus Chronicles with Robert Cat 

In 2011 I created Flying on Little Wings

and Robert was in there too,
warning the birds about danger.

Robert

with all of his 7 kg

was a great lover of FOOD!

This was his daily pose to alarm me
that it would be dinner time soon
It always brought a smile to my face


I will miss the
"I am going to die if I don't eat in the next second"
kind of cry by the sound of opening a tin of tuna

And the ...
'please, please, please'
when opening the fridge
to take out a tub of yoghurt (see short video)

...........

I am deeply saddened that he is gone
but privileged to have had his company

And to have shared his existence
with so many of you

He used to receive Christmas cards
just in his name...
and throughout his life had cyber cuddles 
from as far away as Australia


I have no idea how I will deal with the silence he leaves behind
How I won't listen out for him to come in my bedroom window
How I don't look for him in my garden,
and how birdwatching will be on my own now

How, when I go for an afternoon nap,
that he won't be there to cuddle up under the blanket.
(only at that time of the day- never any other)

How his/our unbroken routine
will be continued without him

So many memories
so many thoughts

We buried him this morning
in the front garden
in his favorite spot
Surrounded by six humans and one cat
we said farewell

Thank you all of you who were part of his life

May he rest easily