Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

There is a difference between happy and healthy

...it is often seen as peculiar to have FUN and be HAPPY while ill...
I think it is an absolute necessity


photo of Corina Duyn in wheelchair facing a tree. Laughing  with quote: It is often seen as peculiar to have fun and be happy while ill.


This photo was taken in Brugge (Belgium)about 10 years ago.
I had just been given a new wheelchair, as with the old one a wheel kept coming off, with it's own interesting funny results... Anyway, unfortunately the tires on this new chair where solid.

The whole of Brugge's historic centre is paved with cobblestones.
Stunning.
But Brugge and solid wheelchair tires proved not a great combination.

I was in so much agony, with pain shooting throughout my whole body from all the bumping around in my chair. Mariela pushing the chair was in agony from the vibration running through her arms into her spine.

We decided to take a boat tour along the canals to see the city, at least it would be comfortable. We shared the boat with a lot of other people. At one point I was almost brought to a resolution to throw a 'loud-know all' German tourist over board ...  I didn't. I couldn't. Afterward we had an extended lunch and watched Wimbledon Women Tennis on TV in a pub.

Venturing out again, we took some photos on our way back to the train station. At one point Mariela sat on a wall, me in my chair  - facing a tree. Hitting my head of the tree... We Laughed and laughed at the silliness of our situation.
Here we were in the most amazingly beautiful city, and we could not get to see it.
People passing us by were visibly horrified that I laughed, and that I was laughed at by my companion. We both had tears running down our faces...


***
Like this post?
I'd Love to hear your comments, your stories, your experiences.
Please share, or join me on this adventure from illness into wellness


Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The fear of loosing everything you know

'Fear is like a fog; it spreads everywhere and falsifies the shape of everything.'

John O’Donohue - Anam Cara


page from Into the Light by artist and writer Corina Duyn, showing a tree covered in fog and a quote about fear
page from Into the Light 


There were many times where I experienced Fear while going through M.E.

FEAR associated with deterioration

In the early years, there were so many strange symptoms appearing. Sometimes on a daily basis. Suddenly being unable to walk properly. To coordinate my movements. To sit up and talk at the same time. A sore throat but no fever.  Pain. Excruciating pain.... (to name but a few). 
Yet another symptom appears and you don't know if it is M.E. related, or something else, and should also be concerned about.
Throughout the first decade I ended up in hospital on many occasions.
Severe unexplained headaches, with suspected tumor on one occasion, stroke at an other, meningitis...? A bad dose of gastroenteritis - for others a 'one-day-bug' made me so ill that I became severely dehydrated, even though I drank water all day. I was brought (yet again) to hospital by ambulance. I lost kilos in days. As a result I could not recognize myself in the mirror. In hospital I was suspected to be anorexic. I was not. I was just very very ill. I love my food... 

Fear too by loosing of mobility... will I ever walk again? Can I have shower today, or will that make me more ill. Fear of never seeing improvements. Ever.
Fear of dying. Fear of death. Fear I would fall through my bed as my body felt so heavy. Fear of dependency.

These are just a few thoughts that came to mind. The real list is unfortunately much longer.

The not knowing what is happening

ME, (and I am sure many other illnesses too, but I can only write from the ME perspective) bring this huge amount of unexplained symptoms in our lives. The not knowing what is happening, who to turn to, who can help us, who will understand, all bring fear.

Feelings of loosing control over every - thing 

Having a body which stops conforming to all we knew can feel like a complete loss of control over our lives. Our brain play tricks. We loose the ability to read, to write, to understand a conversation. Loosing one's independence. Having no control over what is bought in the shops, what we eat, when our house is cleaned, when we see our friends. If we still see out friends...
The list can seem endless. Which medical person to turn to, where to get information. Will I be believed. Will I be told that it is all in my head ...
Having to deal with a ineffective health system and having to wait for years to get test done to rule out other diagnosis. The fear that this waiting brings is hard to cope with.
I had years of slowly progressing in the right direction, but only to get very ill again five years ago due to another viral infection, and most likely also because of the onset of memo pause. The fear with having to go through the illness yet again brought its own level of fear. I felt I was loosing control over my life, over everything, again.

I do not want to give up. Or give in 

Yet, I do not want to give in. I do not want to give up. I do not want to give the power over my  life to illness.
I learned to work with the illness, but not make it my life. We can live together. Make deals. Learn to negotiate. 
This is not something that comes easily. It took me years.
Also, once the negotiations are made, it does not mean that all is rosy. New symptoms will still come. Some ME related, others are not. I had my brush with cancer scares. And although thank goodness all turned out well, the surgery and the fear still made its impact known in my well being. Temporarily. 

But as the very wise John O'Donohue shares with us in Anam Cara: 

Fear is like a fog; it spreads everywhere and falsifies the shape of everything.


If we manage to look beyond the fear and truly look at our lives, at our circumstances, there is a possibility that the fog will lift and we can yet again see the beauty in our lives. With different eyes perhaps, but there  is still beauty to be found.

Be well my dear, brave friends.

Links:

  • The image is a page from Into the Light  available from my shop

  • Details of John O'Donohue's book see here


Friday, January 13, 2017

Medication, or Meditation


A few more words to think about


Meditation

as 

Medication




Beach Bliss sculpture , bust of head covered with seaweed hat and scarf, photo on Tramore Beach by Artist and Writer Corina Duyn 2016
Meditation ... Medication
Beach Bliss sculpture by Corina Duyn 2016

A quote by  Corina Duyn


Links:




Thursday, January 12, 2017

Traveling through illness and cyberspace with great companions.

The real voyage of discovery consist not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.

Marcel Proust  (quoted in Into the Light )

set of wind up toys depicting disability and art, sitting on shelf. photo by Artist and writer Corina Duyn

These represent you, my readers, and travel companions!


Illness
was not the road
I had planned to take

But I have been granted 
an exploration
of some beautiful 
new landscapes
Corina Duyn - Into the Light



That is a quote from my most recent book, a book-in-a-box called Into the Light 
It is one of the last pages, in which I had to acknowledge that although illness was certainly not the 'plan' in my life, it brought me to some amazing times too.

I learned to embrace my writing. That I do have a voice and even have something to share.
I came to understand that creativity can come, and probably should come from a very deep place. A place I would not have visited if it was not because of this very long adventure through illness. And Stillness.

I fought. I rebelled. Against life. And my body.
I conceded that we have to work together in order to live the best life we can.

We came to the understanding that a LOT can be achieved in very, very short spells of time.
The Twenty Minute Rule came into being. (Will write separate post about this soon... watch this space).

The New Landscapes are also how I can now really see the world around me. To explore nature which much more attention. To be part of it.
To truly value the friendships in my life. 
To savour the written word.
To enjoy art.
To be able to share.
To being grateful for so many little things.

One of the very recently explored territories is that one called social media in cyber space. Although I enjoyed writing my blog for years, my words and images were floating around cyberspace rather leisurely ... Now, with the support from from very strong ladies, and some men too, I have my words land in places where people actually get to read them.  

And my goodness, you are really reading my words, and interacting on my blog and facebook, though messages and emails
I would like to thank ALL OF YOU for being my wonderful, entertaining, funny, loving travelling companion on these daily adventures.

I love to invite you travel along with me over the next few months. Please leave a comment below this post on what places you would like me to bring you to. What other landscapes I might have travelled and you would like to see or hear a little more about.

If you are new to my Blog, you can sign up to receive email updates, by entering your details on the top right of this page (web-version), or by contacting me.

Thank you so much.
Be Well.

Corina - Your travel Guide for Travelling from illness to Wellness

Ps... You can help me get more people to join us, to fill the train as it were, by sharing my blog on your social media. Thank you Links:

  • Quotes are from Into the Light, available here
  • Full list of authors referenced in Into the Light, see here
  • My Facebook Art page where I link my Blog Posts, please "like" and ask your friends to "like"

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Re-emerging into the light armed with the wisdom of the earth

Yesterday I meant to write about re-emerging but ended up talking about grieve. Grieving is something, I believe, we have to do in order to be able to move on. To re-emerge into the light of life.  I took the day to just be. To be with my thoughts. To potter in the garden for a few minutes. And be mindful of my feelings of loss, in all its ways.


Today I woke up feeling much more calm again. Ready to be in the world. And was blessed to have a visit from three lovely people this morning.

I'd like to thank all of you who read and commented with such affection and understanding on my writing. My thoughts are with you.

Emerging. Sculpture. 11x12x19cm 
© Corina Duyn 2014

Over the past few days, a few of my readers shared their thoughts on the 'Emerging' sculpture (see image), and the quote "Re-emerging into the light armed with the wisdom of the earth."

It resonated with them: 
"This new year, in typically contradictory M.E fashion, I feel more physically ill but more accepting of my illness. I have felt lost and trapped for a long time and wondered where "I" was. I know that this acceptance will wax and wane but for now it is peaceful and  feels like a re-emergence of me."
Di Kirk

The story of this sculpture:
Since 2012 my health had been deteriorating after years of slow progress. From early 2014, I had to acknowledge that this was not a temporary set back.  I could not imagine, or accept going back to needing daily support again. To be even more dependent on mobility aids, to have to re-arrange the house to suit wheelchair use. To having to accept help in so many different ways.

Going through all these challenges during the early years of illness is tough enough. But in those early days there is always the hope that it will all get better. That needing help is temporary. That recovery is in sight.
Having to go through this journey again, was unthinkable...

But I had to.

Sinking. Sculpture, 15x19x11cm. © Corina Duyn 2014 

I remember lying in the bath and thinking how I was stuck in a hard place. Like being embedded in a rock. Not water.

I needed to open my bag of tricks I used to come out of this state years ago. I had to revisit my ways I knew would support me in my struggles: Writing. Creating. Being in a quiet location.

I booked myself in at the Dechen Shying Care Centre at Dzogchen Beara where I felt supported, cared for, and understood. Also I was told by staff and fellow guests that I really, really needed to ask and accept support in order to live well and to be able to continue with my creative work- and sharing this with others... 

I listened.
And reached out.

Reaching Out. Sculpture, 10x10x11cm. © Corina Duyn 2014 
I asked for help.
It was not easy emotionally. And practically, well, the wheels of bureaucracy are slow, and grinding and come to many stops... I wrote an article for Journal.ie about this.

Over time I did get support. And accepted support. And I did emerge from this challenging place.
My book Into the Light in the format of a box with loose sheets with reflections on life, was created as a result of this challenge. I truly believe that.

If we dare to go deep inside the darkness, and reach out when we are ready to do this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Not always what we hoped to find there, but it can be a peaceful place.
At least for a while...

Be well my friends, and thank you for joining me on this journey.

Corina

Notes and links:
  • These three sculptures were made during my first stay at Dechen Shying Care Centre at Dzogchen Beara
  • My Into the Light book, the format very much inspired by this place was launched there by Michael Harding in September 2015
  • These images are also in my Into the Light book and is available from my Web Shop
  • Reaching out and Emerging are also available as PRINTS
  • Journal.ie articleOpinion: Being ill is hard – having to fight for every basic human right is much, much harder, by Corina Duyn

Saturday, January 7, 2017

It is essential to give yourself time to grieve

Today I was gong to write about acceptance and re-emerging from a dark place into the light. This thought was prompted by a (message) conversation I had with one of my readers.
But as I woke up with a heavy heart, I decided to write about what comes before re-emerging ... giving yourself time to grieve.



I woke this morning with a heavy heart.
Observing the pain, I felt that the base of it is the heart-ache of missing my beloved cat Robert who passed away a week ago.

Grieving: 
Feeling intense sorrow
from Latin gravare, gravis
Heavy, Grave*

Robert and I had such a routine build up.
In the morning he would lie on the right side of my bed to "hunt" for my toes. Always the right, never the left. Then he'd lie on his back, his head cuddled up to my chest. When I sit up on the bed and he'd circle around me, always anti-clockwise. Giving me 'kissses' when he come to the front of me. Little head-butts and a lick on my forehead or cheek. Three or four times, as if he was building a protective wall around me for the day.

As soon as I have one toe on the floor, his priorities changed from loving to needing... FOOD!!!

Every day during the past week, I see, feel, and hear his presence, and yet he is not here.
Receiving a package in the post yesterday, I was left with an empty box and no cat to climb into it. An empty yoghurt tub which has to be rinsed out, in stead of licked clean. I open the front door, but he is not on the doormat. In stead I see his grave.  (grieving- grave).

It breaks my heart that his life came to an abrupt end. And yet, I somehow knew that is was coming. Although he was not seriously ill, I felt that he was not himself either. The last few nights I'd have a chat with Robert and said that if he had to pass on, it is ok. I am ok. And thanked him for all the years we have spend together. He was diagnosed with diabetes on the day he died, but died probably of heart attack. It was heart breaking to watch his last struggles for breath. The Vet kindly came over to help him go to his eternal sleep.
I am grateful I was connected with Robert to make the call to have him at home, on his drip, and not have him alone - lonely at the Vet's - a place that would bring him fear.

I realize that I am good at putting things in perspective. To deal with what I have to deal with. To not get overwhelmed with emotions. To stay strong. But then the  - Grieve - Feeling intense sorrow - hit me this morning.

While writing these last few words, I could barely swallow the lump in my throat. And the tears are flowing.  The voice-recognition software does not recognize my voice when upset... so have to write with my fingers...

I know that lump is not just about Robert. It is about the challenges that illness, and life in general brings too.
At times 
illness makes 
you feel cheated 
out of life *

Grieving how meetings with friends are often dictated by my body's demands. Grieving about being a lot of the time on my own. The missing of taking part in society the way I would like to. Yet, I know I am quite content to follow my own simple routine in my beautiful and peaceful surroundings.
Sorrow that I am not able to be as a good a friend to my friends as they are to me. I give them time and a listening ear, but can't do much in practical terms. Grieving about people lost in my life, and those who are very ill and I can't be with. 
Reading my own words from Into the Light, I know that


It is
essential 
to allow yourself
 to grieve* 


I know that my sorrow will pass.
I know.
I have been there before.
It just hit me right in my heart this morning.

For now I will go underground, and soon I will write about how I do emerge back into the light again, armed with the wisdom from the earth.

Leaving you with a few words of wisdom from the amazing Peter Cornish from Dzogchen Beara:


Desire is the weather that stirs up this climate of pain.

It’s the wind on which we sail our ship into the ocean of sorrow.
Peter Cornish - Dazzled by Daylight *


* All quotes from a page of Into the Light  available from my WEB SHOP

Be Well my friends,
and Thank You for joining me on my journey.


Tuesday, January 3, 2017

The Dance of Illness


sculpture of bird and doll, both made from clay and fabric
Birth-Dance © Corina Duyn 2016

It’s possible to stifle creativity and freedom for only so long - even in the desert, flowers find a way to bloom.

Yasamin Beitollahi. Huffington Post


Yesterday I watched the movie Desert Dancer
It is based on the true story of Iranian dancer Afshin Ghaffarian, set against the backdrop of the political unrest in Iran and an era where dancing was strictly forbidden.

The young Afshin wants to dance. He needs to dance. While in University a group of friends set up a secret dance company. Dancing just for themselves, Afshin suggests giving a performance in the desert. A group of twenty fellow students were invited to a secret location where they perform the most spellbinding dance. Afshin makes it to Paris with false documents and is given political asylum and a place in a dance academy. 

I am so happy I stumbled upon this movie (on Netflix). The story has very challenging subjects, but but the beautiful dances are so free.

While watching Desert Dancer I kept thinking about my own desire to dance. 
How this is reflected in my last work "Birth-Dance" and about my current clay-mation/animation/film project, which I hope will be all about movement. 

I so want to move more freely. I so want to dance with life again.

I felt that the movie was a kind of metaphor for our daily struggles. 
The story of living with chronic illness: ME (Unfortunately often referred to as ME/CFS). Trapped in a body, which dictates a regime in which dancing is forbidden. 
The yearning for something more than being confined in our houses, in our bodies, in our minds: The need to fuel our inner passion, and emerge into life again, and tell our story with passion. 

I loved this quote in the movie:
“Dance can be anything. A waving goodbye, or waving your fist into the air. 
But you only make a difference when you find your own secret language.”

…A dance can be anything.
… make a differnce when you find our own secret language.

I hope my language will be the (very short) animation film of small figures dancing in my garden. 
To improve on the movements in my own body again. 
To dance - in whatever form that is possible.
To dance with words here on my blog

To dance with life
To share the dance with you.



Notes:

The authors who might support me in my desire are:
Emile Conrad- Life on Land
Jamie Marich- Dancing Mindfully
Bonnie Klein - Slow Dance
Ingrid Bacci - The art of Effortless Living
See more books/authors


Links:
Top quote from: Desert Dancer: Art and Humanity Blooms in Post-Revolutionary Iran, Huffingon Post 
Movie trailer: youtube
Scene of dance in the desert: youtube




Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Housebound but homeless

e-book available here http://www.corinaduyn.com/site/shop/hatched-re-hatched/
Page from Hatched now available as e-book 


During my first year of illness, I found myself housebound and  facing homelessness at the same time.  I had one night left in rented accomodation. This experience will never leave me. 


In the Ireland of today homelessness is a BIG problem. It breaks my heart that people are sleeping out in the cold. That some feel that this is safer to be outside than staying at a dedicated hostel, out of fear of those who stay there have used drugs or alcohol.
Homeless people sleeping in doorways of shops, where all the commercial Christmas 'stuff' is displayed in all it's glory behind them.
A bigger contradiction can not be found.

Google 'Irish homelessness' and about 518.000 results come up...

My own story with a 'brush with homelesness' is that in the first year of being ill I staying in friend's houses until I found a flat in the centre of town. The drawback was that it was upstairs.
I used only the first floor and had my bed in the living room. But it was warm and I was in town.

The local librarian Evelyn Coady shared this memory at the Hatched Booklaunch in Lismore in June of 2006: "Dropping an audio book in to Corina back in 1999 I was horrified to see the wheelchair abandoned at the bottom of a steep staircase – Like Rapunzel incarcerated in her ivory tower Corina was trapped – trapped in a body unsure how to function – trapped – trapped full stop.
“Housebound but Homeless”
I was under the impression that I had this flat on a long term basis. But the landlord came up one day and said that he needed it for a holiday let. More money no doubt for those few weeks, but the rest of the year the place would be empty. 
My friends and carers were angry. Very angry. 
My belongings were packed up around me, and plans were made to bring me to the county council offices to have me sleep in their hallway, out of protest. Other plans were to stay at a B&B... There were various Council houses vacant in the town, one even with a ramp for wheelchair use... Empty for at least a year... But due to local elections no houses were given out until after the elections. To make a long, painful story, short, I received a letter in the post the day before I had to vacate my flat. My new homehelp was with me when the post arrived, and as by miracle, my new home was across the road from hers.
Every time I read or hear about homelessness, I recall this event. 
Homelessness should not be as big a problem as it is. Even again today in this little town where I live there are empty houses. Some for months, maybe a year... I can imagine that this is not just happening in our town.

There are many organizations in Ireland to support people who are homeless, or at the brink of becoming homeless.  For example Focus Ireland  or the Simon community 

Part of the Bag of Hope
I am not able to help them in a 'hands on' way, but every year I make donations in stead of buying gifts. This year I also made a Bag of Hope, a rather large version of the more familiar Shoe Box Appeal. I filled a bag with a full set of clothing, shoes, socks, jacket, hat and gloves, toiletries, book, notebook and pens, a few snacks, etc. A reader of my Facebook Post, created a bag too. She even included a small sewing kit, and a colouring book. Another friend brought the bags to Cork.
I hope that these small gestures made a bit of a difference in someones day.




Another way I hope to do my bit this year is by making donations from sales of my book. 
See the Little Wings Christmas Appeal on how to get involved,
 if you would like to help me help others.


I feel immensely fortunate to have a house.
To have a roof over my head.
To have clothes, shoes, food, heat. 
To have a warm bed to get into.

Gratitude
is too small a word 
for today.


Friday, January 22, 2016

"Care-Edition" of Into the Light for care centres hospitals and hospices

Dear friends,

In response to readers of Into the Light book-in-a-box I have created an edition which would be suitable for use in: 
  • Care Centers
  • Hospitals
    • main areas, and or clinics
  • Hospices
  • Rehab centres
  • Waiting rooms of 
    • GP Surgeries
    • Complementary Practitioners
  • Patient support centres,  for example MS, Arthritis etc
  • Occupational Therapy clinics/ Physio Therapy clinics
  • Disability organisations
  • Mental Health clinics
All the pages have been individually laminated in high quality pouches in order to be disinfected, if required. The newly designed Box has also been treated in order to be cleaned.

The makers of the box, Designed4U, have kindly offered some discount to bring this product to the people who might benefit from reading Into the Light, and I am financing a part of this edition too.
For the remainder of the cost, I am looking for sponsors to help me bring this version to any of the care centers mentioned above.
You can do this buy clicking on the Buy Now Button.






  • The cost is €40, (Postage is kindly paid for by anonymous donor)
  • You, the sponsor, can decide where the book should be posted to.
  • If you wish, your name will be mentioned on the title page, including a personal message, if you like. Please add these details on the paypal form. 

  • The sets are made to order, so it might take me a few days to laminate the sheets, varnish the box, and get it ready for posting.
  • I will keep a list here on my blog of where the boxes have been posted to. 

  • Many, many thanks for your vision and kindness to bring this book into settings where people living with illnesses gather, or are being treated, or supported.

    My deepest gratitude, and wishing you all the best.

    Corina


    Care Edition of 'Into the Light' by Corina Duyn


    Care Edition of 'Into the Light' by Corina Duyn
    (back of box)

    Care Edition of 'Into the Light' by Corina Duyn
    View of pages in the box - Viewer can 'flick' through them

    Care Edition of 'Into the Light' by Corina Duyn
    Laminated sheets can be taken out for further reading

    Care Edition of 'Into the Light' by Corina Duyn
    laminated pages


    The other versions of Into the Light and previous books are available from my bookshop

    Thursday, November 26, 2015

    Earth's Wisdom

    Self Hug © Corina Duyn 2012
    Self Hug © Corina Duyn 2012

    ... I have missed writing blogs, just writing to share and reflect.
    For 2 or 3 years I have been actively working on Into the Light. Reading, writing, editing, sourcing my images, and loved every minute of it. The hardest part of bringing out a book is not the writing of it but all the energy required to promote it.
    That all started with it the very generous offer from John to start the funding campaign to pay for the printing. I had completely underestimated the demand for my energy that was required to do that, as most of the work was done by Brendan. Thank you both.
    This mad busy, nerve wrecking time was followed by finishing the book and organising the book launches.  
    However, Every step along the way brought it's own beauty too.  Especially meeting wonderful people along the way!

    Rejuvenate © Corina Duyn 2012
    Since the busy times are over I needed time to reflect, to the re-evaluate where I am at.  
    To rest,  to rejuvenate. 

    Recently, a friend forwarded a link to the Women Wellness Circle. What perfect timing to meet these wonderful young women, who themselves lived with chronic illness and found ways to bring wellness into their lives and share their wisdom with other women around the world. They speak to my heart. They talk about meditation, nature, self care, wisdom we have in our own bodies, if we are brave enough to listen. They take their wisdom from many sources, many resonate with me having read a lot of books over the past few years about illness, wellness, the wisdom of nature, the need for stillness and mediation. Thank you Sophie and Frances, and to Heike who shared the link to their website. I have followed the free sessions, and am now part of the one month long Radical Self Care Circle.

    Metamorphosis © Corina Duyn 2012
    Every time I listen to this meditation which very much brings us deep into the earth's strength and knowledge, I think how my own journey into wellness has progressed.
    As followers of my work will know, my earlier sculptures and writing very much had the bird as theme. Flying into Freedom.
    Three years or so ago, I suddenly started to use roots in my sculptures. This, I realized later was no coincidence, as I had become more firmly rooted in my thoughts.
    Maybe flying was also a way to fly away from reality... 

    Metapmorphosis was the first sculpture. Followed by several other pieces, which are feature in this blog, and on my website.


    My last root-sculpture, Wisdom, created about a year ago, I feel is balancing those early birds, who brough me through a very touch time, and the being rooted in reality. Taking the wisdom from the earth and from the sky.

    In my recently re-organised living room, this sculpture is now taking pride of place and is accompanying me on this journey into further self-care and gaining of more knowledge.

    Thank you all who are on this journey with me.






    Wisdom © Corina Duyn 2015



    Saturday, July 11, 2015

    Illness has many challenges. But so does life in general.

    Into the Light was a project I started in earnest during a residency at the Tyrone Guthrie Centre at Annaghmakerrig in August 2013.

    I created a large mindmap. Since that time, the book has seen many incarnations. From long essays, to what it is today. A book-in-a-box.

    Illness in itself dictated the way the book was to turn out.

    After a year of struggling with deteriorating health, and an increasing inability to do my writing or my art, I was close to giving up on the project.
    But during my second stay at the Dechen Shying Care Centre in West Cork, I was looking at the prayer flags, and how they are a way to share words of wisdom and thoughts.

    I started to create my writing in that way. Short observations, on loose sheets. ‘The rest is history’ as the saying goes.

    Pre-orders of the book, or the pledging for original art which feature in my book, or pledging any amount from €5 upwards, will help me Greatly to fund the printing of the book, and the making of the boxes.
    Your book will be signed and numbered and ready for collection at the book launched in September, or can be posted to anywhere in the world. (postage included), until the 15th of July.

    Many thanks for your support, past and present.





    supported by

    Wednesday, April 29, 2015

    Into the Light - an adventure basking in kindness

    Well it has been quite a while since I turned up on my blog. But, I have been busy with my Into the Light Artist book project. And some journey it has been.

    The artist book will consists of a series of sheets, with on one side an image (art or nature) and quote by another writer; on the reverse an observation about living with chronic illness. This could be about daily reality, gratitude, art, society, independence, nature, stillness... All gathered in a box. More about this some other day!
    Both sides of a sample sheet of Into the Light © Corina Duyn 2015

    There is a awful lot more involved than just writing. There is also reading, note taking, finding the right quote, finding the right image, and that is all before editing and designing - and redesigning- and  more editing and fine tuning the pages. Box design... how to promote, where to launch...

    Every time I think I have it all worked out another question arises... The latest being:
    How to ask for permission to use quotes by other writers?
    Will there be any cost involved?
    Do I need permission when it is a limited edition artist book?
    As it turned out yes you do need permission, even if it is just one line.
    And rightly so. I would like to be asked too, if someone likes to use my writing!

    A big adventure started by contacting many authors and publishers. I was fearful of huge costs, and lengthy waits. To my absolute delight, so far everybody who has replied to my request has given me permission, free of charge. My heartfelt thanks to everybody. 
    And not only that, the goodwill towards my project is going way beyond that.  I received some amazing responses and encouragement from people I have never met, and probably never will.

    Both sides of a sample sheet of Into the Light © Corina Duyn 2015
    This into the light project is really that.  It is not just bringing the topic of the experience of living with chronic illness into the light, but in a beautiful way, I myself am reaching into the light, making contact with authors and artists I have admired for so long. Making contact with people all over the world.

    When I started this project I found myself in a darker place.  My condition had deteriorated. I was more challenged again in my mobility, independence, and in my creative work.
    Finding a way to do what I felt I needed to do is a huge blessing. I do not underestimate the power of art. The creative process.  Creativity is a lifeline.  It brings understanding. I learn. And I can share.
    What a privilege.

    The other forms of support have been to aid me in practical ways to my work.  Some of this has been supported through the rehab bursary. Friends have helped me with computer work; local graphic designer Dave Murphy,  has helped me to design the pages; friends are reading to spot any errors; staff at the IWA has helped me with my sculptures. Staff at Dechen Shying have been nurturing. The book most likely will be launched there first (September?).
    Working with my mentor Grace Wells, has been absolutely invaluable. An acquaintance from years back, is supporting me to launch a crowd funding adventure and all other social media that comes with that. I have also been awarded a small publishing grant from Waterford City & Council Arts.

     I feel hugely privileged to have all the support.
     Thank you all!  My deepest gratitude.

    The book is not finished yet, but it getting close.

    Please come back for updates, or sign up for email notices.

    An Author/Artist Facebook has created for me. Please 'like' it.

    If you would like to support me, any proceeds from artwork or books sold will go towards the publication cost of Into the Light.


    With every best wish

    Corina

    this project has been supported by

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    Tuesday, May 20, 2014

    homehelp in Ireland

    This article has also been published on thejournal.ie  Friday 23 May 2014
    there are some great comments from other people dealing with issues with HSE 
    please read, it make your heart boil.

    Early April a request was made for home help and carers allowance. As of today, the 20th May I hadn't heard anything from either of those application. I rang the public health nurse who had made the application for home help on my behalf. Apparently she had received a letter on 24 April that my application had been refused. That is all, the letter said. Refused. She had assumed, rightly I think, that I would have received a letter too. Not so.
    I am furious and disappointed that nobody bothered to tell me that I was not going to get homehelp. 

    Does the HSE think that it is a novelty to get home help? That it is easy to acknowledge that one cannot look after oneself any longer? Let me tell you is the worst thing of being chronically ill. To acknowledge that you have lost your independence. To acknowledge that you need help with the most basic daily needs. To have strangers coming to your house. Does the HSE think that anybody in their right mind in Ireland would request homehelp and willingly go through this humiliating experience just for the fun of it?

    Being ill is hard. Having to fight for every basic human right is much, much harder. You hear heart wrenching stories everyday on the radio.

    It feels a bit like there is somebody sitting in an office with a pen and just decided to tick the box 'refused', without any further explanation necessary to the person who made the request, and who needs the help. Maybe this is not a fair assessment of the public servant, but that is what it feels like.

    Having a home help is not a novelty. It is an unfortunate necessity.

    I'm furious that the government for not looking after the very people who need the care of the state the most. I nearly screamed at the television when I heard the news that the government was talking about 30 million being spend on a sports stadium in Cork, money given to the GAA. Don't have enough money already? Both Enda Kenny and Eamon Gilmore were so proud to make this announcement. They were glowing. 

    In the meantime people are losing their medical cards, they don't get homehelp, carers allowance is harder and harder to get, young children in wheelchairs which they have outgrown, are being told that there is no money for a new wheelchair, or physiotherapy, or for speech therapy... To to attend a daycare.

    Having people on trolleys in A&E is becoming the norm. Waiting lists to see a consultant are months, even years. It took me nearly two years and several letters, and degrading tests to receive a mobility scooter from the HSE. At least this time round they didn't say that 'a motorised aid would make me lazy'. That was a plus!

    I am nearly sixteen years in this 'game' of dealing with the so called 'health' board, and have seen a deterioration in the care provided by the state.

    I am not looking for easy handouts. I am too proud to be able to look after myself as best I can, but there are times I, like many others, do need the support in order to take our meaningful place in society.

    This article has been published on thejournal.ie 


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