Shedding

Life is peculiar. Life is never linear. Life can be like a rollercoaster ride with its gentle rolls where one can take a deep breath of relief only to experience those terrifying highs and lows again. Such is life. Presently lots is changing. In terms of my health. In terms of the care I require. As well as changes in my care team. Lots to comprehend. Time to rewrite - time for a new era. 

For months I am engaging in ‘space-clearing’. Bit by bit I am letting go of anything I either don’t really need, or no longer require, or don’t particularly like. Or would be of more use in someone else’s life. Even books. My tv. I keep what I need, what brings me joy, which has memories attached I simply am not ready yet to let go off.

Some of these decisions were dictated by a change in health. Over a short time I became more and more unable to tolerate the clothes I loved for years. Many a morning I’d be close to tears by the thought of having to get dressed. Clothes brought an extreme reaction to the sensation of touch. Of being trapped. Even clothes which were not tight. I’d tolerate t-shirts for a few seconds before I had to ask my carers to pull them off straight away. Panic. I could no longer deal with trousers which were baggy and made ‘noise’ when I walked. I couldn’t deal with a shirts because of the collars. I was at a total loss on what to wear. 

Like a snake I shedded my skin - my clothes.

I bought a new set of clothes. Big, soft clothes. Just a few pieces. When I decided to do this big ‘culling’ of my wardrobe it actually felt liberating... After the few tears of letting go of my once beloved clothes. It was a letting go of another era. Most of my wardrobe now has new homes- new bodies. I am comfortable again in my new skin. My new clothes. And marvel at how little I need. Still more to let go.

Letting go of the old - makes room for the new.

Books. Ah, books. Letting go of books used to be a challenge. I used to love, absolutely love my library of books. Then suddenly I was overwhelmed by the amount of books I owned. Over the past few months I let go of quite a few books. In the past few weeks I am more rigorous. Lots of books went into the ‘give away’ box. Disability Study ones are now in new ownership (More to go). Other books I am re-reading, and if I truly love the story, the sentiment, the writing, the author, it will go back on the shelf. Others go into the ever filling box.

It is all very liberating to be honest. And an interesting experiment in what books I liked enough in the past to keep. Some I’d say just ended up on the shelf without a special attachment to them. Some were obviously very much right for a particular time of my life. And of no interest right now. Some are absolute beauties and will stay with me for the rest of my life.

This morning I realised that I also need to let go of my own previously published books*. So, I am offering them to you at half price. I prefer them to be read than stored away in my space. I hope they’ll bring joy to new readers. I hope they will share a tiny nugget of wisdom I gained during two decades of illness. “Hatched”, “Into the Light”, “Cirrus Chronicles”, “Snapshots”, and “Life Outside the Box”. Of some books I only have a few copies left.

                If interested, PLEASE ORDER HERE.

The half price will be calculated on the books.  Please let me know at either Paypal level or via an email to me that you have read about this offer, and I will refund the 50% of the cost of the books via PayPal. (Full postage will be charged.)

If you can make a case for wanting my books but have no funds to pay for them, please DO let me know and we make a deal. Please do let me know.

Please be well. Stay safe. And thank you for your company in person or via cyberspace.

Corina 

*This offer is not for the ‘Invisible Octopus’ Poem booklet or related art works which can be ordered here.

Snapshots books arrived. Happy days

... another book-baby safely delivered into this world

It is always a special moment when a book I have been working on for months (or years) arrives at my house.

Yesterday, when I was on my 'holidays in my front garden' (which was not much of a holiday as it rained, and was very cold- we even had a hailstones shower), courier Colin arrived with one heavy box from City Print in Cork.

And I could not wait to have that private moment to open the box and see how my book-babies turned out.

I must say- if I can be a proud mother that they turned out just beautiful.
They look good.
They feel good.
The pages are clean and clear.
... with a slight imperfection, but none of us are perfect...


Printer Ronan took pride in getting my books to look as good as they are. He had told me earlier: "...on a general note, well done for compiling such a book - it’s really well done." 
We had some funny communications. As the book is in both English and Dutch he responded to an email in Dutch- having used Google translate.
I love those little moments of fun.

Thank you all at City Print, you really are a dream to work with.

It was an interesting project to work on- the initial idea was much simpler. It took on a life of its own. See links below to read more. It is amazing to have received orders for this very limited edition book from as far as Canada, UK, Holland, Ireland, and even Australia. Thank you all!
(book order will be posted early June, after my family have had the first viewing during the reunion n Holland)

Snapshot books have arrived safely into this world

Back of Snapshot books

Further reading and links

• A reflection on the birth of my previous Book-babies
• Snapshots- a look inside
• Order your own signed copy HERE. 
• City Print in Cork

Stepping out of the wings

Yesterday I started to write a post about flying high with clipped wings.
It was to reflect on my personal adventures I am granted while barely leaving the house at the moment. But the truly extraordinary events of the M.E. protest were still so beautifully present on my mind that the words coming out of my fingers were about that. And I am happy to follow wherever my mind goes.

Dreams

Saturday morning I woke up from a dream about birds.
I watched a beautiful black bird with a very long tail in a nearby tree.
It looked a little like a bird ornament I have on a plant in my study.

a bit like the bird in my dream

I was sitting on the ground (perhaps my greenhouse - although the space was much larger). I had my knees bend, and the bird came to sit on my knee. It was a very peaceful experience.

The bird did not even leave when a little cat (Sally?) came to sit with me.

Later I was standing in my (?) garden and a flock of small, colourful long tailed birds- a bit like long tailed tits- gathered on my sleeve. It was amazing. I tried to photograph it with my smartphone. However in my dreams mobile phones never work as they should... 

Anyway.
I wondered what the dream images were about.

Friend Dolores told me: ... Birds are usually aspiration, or dreams, and I feel the long tails may indicate how much you have yet in store...

Interesting, as in the past few weeks I have been granted some new opportunities, and dreams are about to be filled.

These opportunities are in the realms of illness/wellness, writing and art.
Three important parts of my life.
All combined with nature - and birds - and flying - and stepping out of the wings.

Wellness:

Besides being involved with the M.E. protest, through my blog 
I was a invited to write a Blog post for Irish Dysautonomia Awareness 

about my life with chronic illness. 
Read it HERE

Writing:

I had no intention to compile the book that flowed out of my hands during the past 6 months. 

It was to be a simple translation of my dad's very small WWII diary. 

It turned into Snapshots. 
A book about challenges of life, but also about resilience, creativity and joy. 

I am awaiting the arrival of the 100 printed books today.

I was invited to write about this adventure on the Writing.ie website. 

You can find it HERE

Art:

A few days ago I was invited by Emma Fisher 

from Beyond the Bark to give a talk at 

The Broken Puppet: A Symposium on Puppetry, Disability, and Health 

1st and 2nd of August 2017, at UCC in Cork.

I am honoured. 

Deeply honoured.

I am flying out on my little wings 

I will follow my dreams - those ones during the night and the ones in real life.

And I look forward to have your company along the way.

Snapshots: The Hatch - Het Luikje

SNAPSHOTS

a book about the challenges of life, but also about resilience, creativity, and joy. 

een boek over de uitdagingen van het leven, maar ook over veerkracht, creativiteit en vreugde.

With stories written by, and about Jan and Miep Duyn.

This memory was written by Kees Duyn

Page from Snapshots - edited by Corina Duyn

Page from Snapshots - edited by Corina Duyn

THE HATCH

One early evening when Pa was playing with all his boys, Peter, Kees, Hans and little Joop. Running around from the living room to the kitchen back and forth, to do what ever dads do. While we were all running around, Pa ended up in the hallway of our small house and all four of us were inside the living room.

The hallway and living room was separated by a door without glass.  We quickly closed the door behind Pa to keep him in the hallway.  

Pa with all his power was trying to push the door open with no luck.  We pushed as hard at the door to keep Pa outside.

After a while we felt that Pa had given up and we all relaxed a bit.  But to our surprise we found Pa now also back in the living room helping to keep the door closed. We all looked over our shoulders and saw Pa’s hand on the door.

Pa, as big as he was managed to crawl to the tiny hatch between the kitchen and the living room.  How he got through there is still a miracle today.  Maybe Ma greased him with butter and helped pushed him through that small opening.

HET LUIKJE

Op een avond speelde Pa met al zijn jongens, Peter, Kees, Hans en kleine Jopie. Rondrennen door de woonkamer naar de keuken heen en weer. Doen wat vaders doen. Terwijl we allemaal rond rende, belandde Pa in de hal van ons klein huisje, en wij vieren waren in de woonkamer.

De hal en de woonkamer was gescheiden door een deur zonder raam. We deden snel de deur dicht achter Pa, om hem in de gang te houden.

Pa met al zijn macht probeerde, zonder geluk, om de deur open te duwen. Wij duwde heel hard tegen de deur om Pa buiten te houden.

Na een tijdje leek het alsof Pa het had opgegeven en we ontspanden allemaal een beetje. Maar tot onze verbazing vonden we Pa nu ook terug in de woonkamer en hielp mee om de deur gesloten te houden.  We keken over onze schouders en zag Pa's hand op de deur.

Pa, zo groot als hij was, was geslaagd door het kleine doorgeefluik tussen de keuken en de woonkamer te kruipen. Hoe hij doorheen gekropen is, is nog steeds een vraag. Misschien had Ma hem ingevet hem met boter en duwde hem door die kleine opening.

•  pre-orders of Snapshots (€10) HERE

Snapshots of Jan & Miep Duyn

Since last summer I have been working on a book about my parents. 

It started of with just a translation of my dad's diary written during the first days of WWII. But it turned into a book... A book with images and short stories, observations written by both my parents and their 6 children. A snapshot of one family, but ultimately a story which would resonate with many families.

As we grew up in Holland and a lot of my family now lives in English speaking countries, Snapshots is in both English and Dutch. So the rest of this blog is also in English and in Dutch.

Cover of Snapshots Edited by Corina Duyn

The compiling of Snapshots was like an Archaeological Dig. Unearthing the stories of my parents Jan and Miep Duyn. 

It is filled with anecdotes and images about their lives. Although it is a book about one family, it has many universal elements: Anecdotes written by Miep about her childhood in The Netherlands of the 1930’s. Experiences of life during the WWII, written by Jan and Miep.

 Some stories are funny; others will take your breath away. It concludes with memories written by their six children. 

Snapshots is a book about the challenges of life, but also about resilience, creativity, and joy.

Available from the SHOP

A5, landscape, paperback. 96 pages. Black and white. ISBN 978-0-9563589-5-0

Het opmaak van Snapshots was als een archeologische opgraving. Het tot licht brengen van de verhalen van mijn ouders Jan en Miep Duyn.

Het is gevuld met anekdotes en foto's over hun leven. Hoewel het een boek over één familie, het heeft vele universele elementen: Anekdotes geschreven door Miep over haar jeugd in 1930’s Nederland. Ervaringen van het leven tijdens de Tweede Wereldoorlog, geschreven door Jan en Miep. 

Sommige verhalen zijn grappig; anderen zullen je de adem benemen. Het eindigt met herinneringen geschreven door hun zes kinderen.

Snapshots is een boek over de uitdagingen van het leven, maar ook over veerkracht, creativiteit en vreugde.

diary page from my mother Miep Duijn (Duyn)

Sample page from the book-
Text in both Dutch and English

Introduction

A few years ago plans were hatched to gather the whole Duyn family in Holland on the 4th June 2017, to celebrate the centenary of the birth of our dad, granddad and great-granddad Jan Duyn. He passed away in 1977 aged 59. Our family has not been together since the passing of Miep Duyn-Kleijne in 2007. 

Two of my 5 siblings, Ina and Hans live in Holland, our country of birth. (Ina lived on two occasions in Ireland. Hans travelled the world during his twenties). Peter emigrated to Canada in 1971, but made Chile his home. Kees lives in Canada. Joop, and myself, Corina, live in Ireland. 

For this reunion I was asked to translate the small diary written by our dad at the start of WWII. Some stories are funny. Others difficult to imagine: For hours and hours we ploughed through a damp and impassable forest path in a foggy, dark night, with nothing more than the pure reality of war to carry with us. Others are beautifully descriptive ... And then we had our finest moment: lying under the apple trees, smoking, happily telling each other of our experiences ...

But as I worked on transcribing and translating the very small handwriting, with the help of brothers Hans and Joop, this task turned into a much deeper project.

I found myself imagining my father in those moments. Wondered why he calculated the days and even seconds he was in the army. What was the story behind the Leipzig address? 

I started to re-read stories in my mother diary, compiled while she was in her late 70’s: Snapshots and funny anecdotes of her childhood; experiences during the war; meeting her future husband Jan; starting a family. 

And thus this project turned into an archaeological dig. 

I unearthed stories, and photographs. Found the links between my dad and mothers’ words. Came across information in other notebooks, and explanations online.  I bombarded my siblings with questions. I asked them for their memories. Many others were enlisted (see last page) during this dig.

This became a book of Snapshots. About family. About Challenges. Resilience. Creativity, and fun.

My dad suddenly died when I was 14. Through creating this book I became much more aware of his life, their lives, our lives. And of their influence on my (creative) life. All I can say is: ‘Thank You both’.

Corina April 2017

1939 Mobilisation. The Dam. Amsterdam

Diary page from my father Jan Duijn (Duyn)'s diary

My mother Miep, the year before she passed away.

Introduktie

Een paar jaar geleden werden er plannen gemaakt om de hele familie Duyn te verzamelen in Nederland op 4 juni 2017, ter ere van de honderdste geboorte dag van onze vader, opa, and overgroot-opa Jan Duijn (Duyn). Hij overleed in 1977, op 59 jarige leeftijd. Onze familie is sinds het overlijden van Miep Duyn-Kleijne in 2007 niet meer samen geweest.

Twee van mijn 5 broers en zussen, Ina en Hans wonen in Nederland, ons geboorteland. (Ina heeft twee maal in Ierland gewoond. Hans heeft veel gereisd tijdens zijn twintiger haren) Peter emigreerde naar Canada in 1971, maar woont nu in Chili. Kees woont in Canada. Joop en ikzelf, Corina, wonen in Ierland.

Voor deze reünie werd ik gevraagd om het dagboekje geschreven door onze vader aan het begin van de Tweede Wereldoorlog te vertalen. Sommige verhalen zijn grappig. Anderen moeilijk voor te stellen: Uren achtereen trokken we voort door een mul en onbegaanbaar bospad in een mistige, donkere nacht met niets meer dan de pure werkelijkheid van de oorlog mee te dragen.

Sommigen met prachtige beschrijving... En toen beleefden en we ons mooiste moment: het liggen onder de appelbomen, roken, gelukkig elkaar van onze ervaringen te kunnen vertellen ...

Maar gedurende het  overschrijven en vertalen van het zeer kleine handschrift, met de hulp van de broers Hans en Joop veranderde deze taak in een veel dieper project.

Ik werd me er van bewust dat ik inbeeldde hoe mijn vader op die momenten was. Ik vroeg me af waarom hij de dagen en zelfs seconden die hij in het leger was had berekend. Wat was het verhaal achter het adres in Leipzig?

Ik begon de verhalen in mijn moeder’s dagboek weer te lezen, verhaaltjes samengesteld terwijl zij in haar zeventiger jaren was: knipsels en grappige anekdotes uit haar jeugd; ervaringen tijdens de oorlog; ontmoeting met haar toekomstige echtgenoot Jan; het starten van een gezin.

En zo werd dit project omgezet in een archeologische opgraving.

Ik graafde verhalen en foto's op. Vond de connectie tussen mijn vader’s en moeder’s woorden. Kwam informatie tegen in andere schriftjes, en vond uitleg online. Ik bombardeerde mijn broers en zussen met vragen. Ik vroeg naar hun herinneringen. Menig ander werd aangesproken (zie laatste pagina) tijdens deze opgraving.

Dit werd een boek van Snapshots. Over familie. Over Moeilijkheden. Veerkracht. Creativiteit en plezier.

Mijn vader stierf plotseling toen ik 14 was. Door het maken van dit boek ben ik me veel bewuster geworden van zijn leven, hun leven, ons leven. En ook van hun invloed op mijn (creatieve) leven. Alles wat ik kan zeggen is: ‘Dank u beiden’.

 Further reading and links

• Purchase the book HERE . Thank you
• Creative Source
• Jan Duyn
• Miep Duyn