I am still learning

On Thursday last I finally attended the West Waterford Writers group. Only until the break, but I was pleased to be amidst a group of writing-loving-people.

To get our creative-writing-juices going, Rose the facilitator for the night, had brought in this plaque:

The results were as varied as the birds in the sky: a poem about politicians, a dialogue between Michelangelo and Angelo Michael, a word play on the word still, procrastination, and the worry about being a facilitator.

For me, the quote brought me very close to my emotions of the recent past.

I am still learning...

...to deal with this illness, after twelve years.

The past two months have been tough to say the least - my body has been ravaged by various infections- which in turn triggered M.E. symptoms. Medication to combat the infections, leaves me exhausted- a double edged sword.

Surely by now I know that I need to rest, and that better health will come my way again.

I have been here before.

Many many times.

I fight the fatigue. I want to go out and do some gardening. I do, and get more whacked- and feel worse.

I want a social life, or at least social contact- but even that leaves me exhausted and in pain.

I am still learning.

I know what to do - I know the tide will change when I have reached acceptance again.

So, why am I still learning?

...because I don't want to know.

I don't want to know, really know, that I am ill.

I am still learning to find the absolute acceptance....

...and wonder will I ever find it.

As a footnote I wrote:

I made it to the writers group, as writing is what I would really like to do, and I am still learning.

I hope that being here will shift the focus from M.E. to me...

...and rediscover the writer within.

Coming home, all I wanted to do was write, but common sense prevailed and I went straight to bed. Slept for almost 11 hours, woke up tired. But! I feel that I am back!

By the way

There are some exciting writing opportunities in County Waterford right now:

Molly Keane's House as Writer's Retreat, and a

Waterford Co. Council writing bursary to attend one of the courses at: Dingle Writing courses

See you all soon!