Saturday, January 1, 2011

Ability v Dis-ability

First of all - Happy New Year to you all!

I started my year with writing a "morning page", as I used to do in the creative days.
It starts my day off on a better note. I get my worries out of my mind and usually I find unexpected clarity on the page, which I would not have found if I got up straight away to start my day.
Writing has to be the first thing I do in the day. I have come to experience that if I tell myself I'll write while the porridge is cooking, or straight after breakfast, or after my bath... it never happens. I might make the odd note, but the clarity from a "morning page" is hard to beat.

This morning I wrote about the fact that I am living in the 'alien' land again, the land of M.E. and that I actually find, that in balance, it a much easier place to live in than the one outside my front door. The world that we all aspire to live in but which costs lots of energy to survive in.
At first this thought comes as a worry: do I stick my head in the sand and retreat from the world to feel safe in my 'alien' world... there might be a bit of that, but then I come to the conclusion that in this 'alien' world, of which I have been a resident for over a decade, is a world I can feel safe in. A world where I can live happily and within my ability.

The buzz word is ABILITY not DIS- ability.

A world where I can flourish. And from this place I will keep my eyes open to look for signposts towards healing from this illness.

This 'alien' residency has rules: Stay within limits, listen to my body, listen if my heart is beating too fast (*) for what I am doing- too much in that case... stay positive and stay in touch with the outside world through friendships and trips outside the door, when appropriate. The "are-you-sure" motto is the first rule here...
I can live with that. And this rule is a wonderful rule for living in the real world too, when I get to the point of changing residency!

Today I will continue to work on my "Flying on Little Wings" handmade artist book, which I am truly enjoying!

So long my friends!

(ps, feel free to share this post on Facebook or other places, there are links for this are right under this post)

(*) you might like this post by Barry I have a dream
Barry added an update of the "I have a dream" project, see here

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