Saturday, May 27, 2017

Unfinished business

Landing slots.

17.29, Friday afternoon. Room 2. Flat on Bed 2. Bags packed. 
I should be on my merry way homewards bound, but am still here. Holding tough. 'Circling the air in the hope that in the next hour I will be given a landing slot at the MRI department...' an analogy given to me by the neurologist who himself was flying. It seems. 
He suggested to come back to outpatient when all tests are done so we can review what is going on... Making the 5 day stay deflate like a lead balloon. Going home without a proper analysis, and tests unfinished.

A doctor in his team has tried to blackmail the 'bed-booking-department' : "Give my patient an MRI and she will free up a bed."
And beds are like gold dust here. Truly.

It blows my mind that one is given an inpatient stay because it is so hard to get tests done via outpatients. And then you're an inpatient, hugging a bed for 5 days, they ask you to come back as an outpatient ...
Can you follow me?
If I was not planning to go to Holland next week they would offer me to stay fir another few days. Knowing that nothing happens over the weekend...

'Line is out', I am going home. No landline slot for my MRI.

The MRI department will close from 8pm till Monday morning. 
Now, maybe I am illogical, or naive, but would it not be cheaper for the HSE to staff the imaging departments, get people looked after, get them home, free up beds... would that not make financial sense? Surely it is more expensive to keep a patient in a bed than to pay wages etc?
Maybe not?
What do I know?
I am just a patient...

Anyway, I did get nerve conduction studies test done (nerves in my arms end leg, nothing to the emotion...). Interesting, as it was conducted by student doctor, so I was able to listen to the tuition, and not get too bothered by the painful jolts of electrical impulses. All I can say is 'don't try this at home...'
A verbal report was that all is within range, but I did not get final report, as I  did not get to speak to neurologist before departure.

I am going home with a heavy heart, as I was left hanging in limbo. Too many Unanswered questions. I would have liked to hear the neurologist view in the physiotherapist findings, and if there us anything 'new' going on in my brain... I realised how important it was to me to have some bit of clarity before meeting my family next week. Some whom I have not seen for ten years. I had not anticipated this emotional response to this unfinished business...

So, overall an interesting week of beautiful moments of sharing, times of rest, but also of dealing with reality of living with illness, both personally and being dependent on an ailing health system.
Home soon.
To my own bed.
And a few days of garden-heaven before the next part of this 18 day marathon.

Thanks for your company and support during the past week. And always.
Much gratitude.

Also a big thank you to the nurses who work so hard and are hugely understaffed. Hugely. A big thank you to all whom I had the pleasure of meeting. Patients and staff.


aido said...


I have been following your progress(or lack of it) in Hospital. I did all of those myself some years back without the frustration you experienced. They found nothing. Thankfully I have recovered to a stage where I can do anything I want but not everything. I am one of the lucky ones. I use all of the methods you do, to manage my condition and I feel that I am in control. (its all reflected in my blog at
I wish you good health and happiness and assure you that you are helping so many others by sharing your experience.


Corina Duyn said...

Thank you so much for stopping by and telling us your story. And also for your kind words to let me know that my expereinces are of benefit to others. That is lovely to know.

I went into hospital thinking of the physiotherapy (etc) support offered in advance.
But l (should) know hospital life is never that straight forward.
There are some new symptoms that could possibly fall under the umbrella M.E. again (or CFS... but that is a whole different story), or possibly a new/added diagnosis. Anyway all will be reveiled soon.
But thanks again for letting me know that you and others are out there.

With every best wish to you.