I was looking for a particular story I wrote about a battle to get bulbs out of a planter pot, years ago. But I found "Malious the Great. The voice of M.E." in stead. Thought I'd share it with you...
In April of 2007, my diary writing took on the voice of the virus
that attacked my body in June 1998. Its attack left me seriously ill and
disabled. I would like to let the virus speak and learn from what it has to
say. Below are the direct, unedited first few paragraphs of the writing that “appeared” in my
diary.
image of a virus |
1 April 2007
Malious’s
story.
Bored to the
gills with spending time alone, I ceased the opportunity to play a trick on the
young woman walking along the path. While she photographed the sheep in the
adjacent field, I ran quickly to the single huge tree in my paddock. As luck
had it, she entered my little patch to photograph “my” beautiful beech tree. I
appeared from behind the tree and frightened the life out of her. What fun! She
ran around and around the tree, trying to outsmart me, but hey, I am strong and
fast and she was in MY patch! My mood from looking for a bit of mischief soon
turned into serious business.
When the game
began, during that memorable summer of 1998, my opponent did not recover from
that first fright. Having a huge pride and believe in my expertise in this game
I strategically choose to invade a part of her brain. She became so ill that
she was afraid to go to sleep that night, in case she would not wake up again.
1-0 for me!
The friend she
was staying with suggested seeking medical help. The poor innocent creatures! I
could have told them- but did not - that nobody in the hospital would recognize
me: the mysterious ‘Malious the Great’! Nobody believes in
fairy tales. Nobody believes I exist! I really started to enjoy the game we had
entered. I had a completely free playing field!
The few days
in hospital were fun. My “host” if I may be so candid to use this label for the
young lady I invaded, did try to level our score, with telling the medical
staff that I did exist. That the symptoms, of not being able to deal with
lights, and noises, to be unable to walk or even to sit up were real and not
imagined. At some point a doctor got really interested and I thought the game
might be over soon. But no, my host was sent home after 4 days with the
diagnosis: “All is well!” 2-0 for me!
She tried her
best to believe the medical staff. They must be right; they are trained
professionals. “She was extremely tired, but maybe all she needed was a few days
off, a little holiday”. The fool! I was
greatly relishing the results of my invasion into her body; I was there to
stay. When friends came to visit, I made it impossible for her to sit up for
longer than 5 minutes, or to follow the conversation they were having. She
needed to acknowledge me, so I made her lie down in bed for long periods of
time and made her focus on me! Stubborn as she is, she tried to live a normal
life as possible. One day, my host tried to walk across the street to the
supermarket to buy some groceries. I let her go there, sure I am not the
worst….. But on the way back I played a favourite trick of mine, keep her on
the footpath, unable to move, while the road was clear for crossing, and made
her walk when there was traffic coming. We escaped death. I was not ready to
die this soon! Of course this episode made her go back to the medical
profession, this time to the G.P. He did some more tests and did utter the
words of post viral fatigue syndrome, which he said was not the same as M.E.
Good man! The blood test performed came all back negative, She was deemed
healthy! 3-0 for me!
My host moved
to another friends house for the month of July. She was supposing to care take
the house in the country, when her friends were on holiday. The G.P. did not
think this a very suitable place for my host to live, as she would be on her
own, and was unable to really mind herself. But little did he know that she was
not alone…. I was very much keeping her company. I kept her awake every night
for a month. Every night She would go to bed tired, but unable to sleep. I
loved that, I loved listening to the radio and hear her talk to her good friend
E. and discuss her life in the past and her life with me! However, She still
did not acknowledge me. I told her to rest all day, what does she do? Goes for
a walk every day. Well, the one night that She got really brave, and walked the
full circle with her friend, I made her feel my presence. I made myself so
heavy and injected pain in every part of her body. I am in control sweetheart!
Still no sleep that night though! During a phone call to a friend in Holland,
she became a little more aware of my relations, one whom had invaded her son
for a while. She listened intently and felt some relief, that the effect I was
having on her, were not imagined. 3-1, I am still in the lead!
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