I was looking for a particular story I wrote about a battle to get bulbs out of a planter pot, years ago. But I found "Malious the Great. The voice of M.E." in stead. Thought I'd share it with you...
In April of 2007, my diary writing took on the voice of the virus that attacked my body in June 1998. Its attack left me seriously ill and disabled. I would like to let the virus speak and learn from what it has to say. Below are the direct, unedited first few paragraphs of the writing that “appeared” in my diary.
|image of a virus|
1 April 2007
Bored to the gills with spending time alone, I ceased the opportunity to play a trick on the young woman walking along the path. While she photographed the sheep in the adjacent field, I ran quickly to the single huge tree in my paddock. As luck had it, she entered my little patch to photograph “my” beautiful beech tree. I appeared from behind the tree and frightened the life out of her. What fun! She ran around and around the tree, trying to outsmart me, but hey, I am strong and fast and she was in MY patch! My mood from looking for a bit of mischief soon turned into serious business.
When the game began, during that memorable summer of 1998, my opponent did not recover from that first fright. Having a huge pride and believe in my expertise in this game I strategically choose to invade a part of her brain. She became so ill that she was afraid to go to sleep that night, in case she would not wake up again. 1-0 for me!
The friend she was staying with suggested seeking medical help. The poor innocent creatures! I could have told them- but did not - that nobody in the hospital would recognize me: the mysterious ‘Malious the Great’! Nobody believes in fairy tales. Nobody believes I exist! I really started to enjoy the game we had entered. I had a completely free playing field!
The few days in hospital were fun. My “host” if I may be so candid to use this label for the young lady I invaded, did try to level our score, with telling the medical staff that I did exist. That the symptoms, of not being able to deal with lights, and noises, to be unable to walk or even to sit up were real and not imagined. At some point a doctor got really interested and I thought the game might be over soon. But no, my host was sent home after 4 days with the diagnosis: “All is well!” 2-0 for me!
She tried her best to believe the medical staff. They must be right; they are trained professionals. “She was extremely tired, but maybe all she needed was a few days off, a little holiday”. The fool! I was greatly relishing the results of my invasion into her body; I was there to stay. When friends came to visit, I made it impossible for her to sit up for longer than 5 minutes, or to follow the conversation they were having. She needed to acknowledge me, so I made her lie down in bed for long periods of time and made her focus on me! Stubborn as she is, she tried to live a normal life as possible. One day, my host tried to walk across the street to the supermarket to buy some groceries. I let her go there, sure I am not the worst….. But on the way back I played a favourite trick of mine, keep her on the footpath, unable to move, while the road was clear for crossing, and made her walk when there was traffic coming. We escaped death. I was not ready to die this soon! Of course this episode made her go back to the medical profession, this time to the G.P. He did some more tests and did utter the words of post viral fatigue syndrome, which he said was not the same as M.E. Good man! The blood test performed came all back negative, She was deemed healthy! 3-0 for me!
My host moved to another friends house for the month of July. She was supposing to care take the house in the country, when her friends were on holiday. The G.P. did not think this a very suitable place for my host to live, as she would be on her own, and was unable to really mind herself. But little did he know that she was not alone…. I was very much keeping her company. I kept her awake every night for a month. Every night She would go to bed tired, but unable to sleep. I loved that, I loved listening to the radio and hear her talk to her good friend E. and discuss her life in the past and her life with me! However, She still did not acknowledge me. I told her to rest all day, what does she do? Goes for a walk every day. Well, the one night that She got really brave, and walked the full circle with her friend, I made her feel my presence. I made myself so heavy and injected pain in every part of her body. I am in control sweetheart! Still no sleep that night though! During a phone call to a friend in Holland, she became a little more aware of my relations, one whom had invaded her son for a while. She listened intently and felt some relief, that the effect I was having on her, were not imagined. 3-1, I am still in the lead!